Tag Archives: iowa

After Iowa Caucus App Fails, Iowa Dems Using 1920’s Adding Machine To Try And Calculate The Victor

Iowa’s inability to add causes division.

Des Moines, Iowa – Once caucus leaders realized their new app apparently was unable to perform under pressure, an old adding machine was brought out of a dusty old closet.

Seemingly in dire need of a basic adding machine, Iowa Democrats somehow found a 1920s Victor adding machine to help them try to accurately determine who was rightly the victor of the country’s first presidential caucus.

Even though the results of the Iowa Democrat presidential caucus might not be certain for months, at least they have a solid and reliable piece of machinery upon which to tally the precinct totals and hopefully then one day announce with full confidence which candidate was the victor.

Moral of the story: During these modern times of apps and downs, we might still want to remember how to do things the old-fashioned way.

FMO Reporter Describes Seeing A Ghost

If seeing is believing, the I do believe in ghosts.

If seeing is believing, then I do believe in ghosts.

Hauntown, Iowa – Gabrial Aimes here, reporting from Hauntown, Iowa, at the very sight, where I just saw a ghost.

Yes, with my very own eyes, I saw the ghost, first go into this house behind me here, and then, the ghost subsequently exited the same house, about two minutes later, apparently heading off to the grocery store.

I would describe the ghost as tall, about six foot two, a seemingly transparent white look to it, and it was acting unusually skiddish, relative to other ghosts I’ve observed over my long and stellar career.

Of course, we will stay on this Breaking News story, for all our interested FM Observers, and let you know as soon as we have more information on the ghost, that was seen only moments ago, exiting that haunted house, right over there. Gabriel Aimes, reporting live, from here in spooky Hauntown, Iowa. Back to you, Dick!