A thin man had been living in this chair for 30 years. Police asking folks to check their furniture.
Fargo, ND – In what police are calling a “very bizarre situation”, a thin elderly man was recently discovered to be living inside a Fargo family’s large comfy chair, which had been in the middle of their living room.
Apparently, after delivering the large, over-stuffed chair to their home thirty years ago, the man decided to crawl inside the chair and stay for awhile.
The man would sneak out at night to get food from the fridge, perhaps stop in the bathroom, and then crawl back inside the chair.
He admits: “During the last thirty years, I sometimes did get rather bored, but then someone would come and sit in the chair, which was always fun for me.”
The Police are now referring to the man as the Chairman of the Bored.
Police are also requesting that everyone in the community please check all your furniture for any unexpected inhabitants who may be living inside.
Switzerland (AP) – A Swiss newspaper is reporting that a woman who recently attempted a sort of “spiritual journey” that requires fasting both food AND water while only to live off the incredibly harmful rays of the sun, has died.
The woman, in her fifties at the time of her death, apparently got the idea from an Austrian documentary which detailed the life of an Indian guru. The guru claimed to have lived this way for upwards of 70 years. Hmmm… not providing the body actual nutrition & sustenance while forcing it to thrive off of the cancer-causing, skin-searing ultraviolet rays of an incredibly massive burning star is not what we’d call a “spiritual” journey. The sun feels great, but do you know what’s better? A drink of water after you’ve been thirsty for 3 days. It’s invigorating, let me tell you.
Let’s lament the untimely loss of a spiritual patriot and at the same time, look on the bright side: she’ll have a fantastic-looking tan at the funeral.