Tag Archives: moose

How To Find Your Groove Pattern (Before It’s Too Late)

Dr. Moose Gravert can help you find your Groove Pattern in the comfort of your own home.

Groove Park, USA – Have you been thinking you need to find your Groove Pattern?

Many just like you have been yearningly searching for their Groove Pattern before that window completely shuts in their life.

Luckily, your FM Observer has invited Dr. Moose Gravert to conduct some Groove Pattern workshops right here in River City.

Dr. Moose Gravert speaks:

“If you don’t like where you’re at, move to another Groove Pattern. Once we get into the right Groove Pattern, we’re like athletes in the zone.

You can always tell when a Groove Pattern is not working. Finding your Groove Pattern makes life flow better. When you get the right Groove Pattern going, time just flies. When you’re in a Groove Pattern, there is no thinking. Everything just happens.

There’s a feeling behind a Groove Pattern. A good Groove Pattern releases adrenaline in your body like the feeling when you’ve won a prize. You feel that energy. You feel uplifted, centered, calm, and powerful. That’s what good Groove Patterns are all about.

When you’re in a good Groove Pattern, you’re not spinning your wheels. You’re moving forward in a straight and narrow path, unwavering in your purpose. A Groove Pattern is the best place in the world. Because when you are in it, you have the freedom to explore your world.”

Groovily, all of the letters in Moose Gravert can be re-arranged to spell: Groove Master!

UND Football Team Adds Moose As Running Back To Roster In Effort To Beat The Bison

‘The Moose’ is a great running back but does sometimes have a problem holding on to the football.

Grand Forks, ND – In a last ditch effort to topple the NDSU Bison football team, the UND former Fighting Sioux have enlisted the help of an almost unstoppable running back.

As you might expect, his name is Bullwinkle and the scouting report on him says this running back is extremely hard to catch, contain, and tackle!

Bullwinkle (‘The Moose’ as his teammates affectionately call him) is believed to be from the Moose Jaw River area way up there in Saskatchewan, eh?

Coach says his coaching staff is very high on Bullwinkle and are hoping he can help bring the former Fighting Sioux a Nickel Trophy win against the mooseless Bison team.

Rural Fargo Man Cornered By Moose For ‘A Really Really Long Time’

…and so you’re telling me this is the reason why you were late for work today?!

Fargo, ND – A rural Fargo man was simply trying to bring the garbage out prior to heading off to work on a foggy Monday morning when he suddenly heard a very large noise.

In the early morning light, Bruno Maneek says he then saw something moving toward him from the dense brushy forest next to their lot.

It was the world’s largest moose who was trotting straight at him so Bruno instinctively began backing up towards the breezeway that connected the garage to their home.

Unfortunately, Bruno’s wife was out of town at the National Botox Conference so he was home alone at the time.

For the next two hours, this massively giant moose had Bruno Maneek cornered only feet away from where he had a loaded shotgun hanging in their breezeway.

Then, after a long and fruitless stand-off, the enormoose moose just disappeared.

“Did it quickly trot off into the forest?”, asked Bruno’s doubting boss who was wondering why his most unreliable worker was late again.

“No, it just vanished like a bubble that got popped by a pointy pin”, replied Bruno Maneek, mere moments before he got fired from his job.

Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars

I tried to shoot a goose. Instead I shot a moose.

I tried to shoot a goose. Instead, I shot a moose.

Knife Lake, MN – A young boy named Bruce had just finished drinking some juice when he saw in the air a goose which lately had a tendency to overproduce.

So young Bruce decided to try and shoot the goose on the loose. He ran and quickly found his sling shot and Bowie knife.

As the loose goose flew closer, young Bruce pulled his Bowie knife back in his sling shot and then let it loose.

After it missed the Canadian goose, the flying knife unfortunately found a large moose named Zeus, who was hiding behind a blue spruce.

It just so happened that a Game and Fish officer who was out looking for abuse was watching the whole thing. After seeing Zeus the moose get shot, the Game Warden decided to go down and introduce himself to young Bruce.

By threatening young Bruce with life in prison, the Game Warden scared the juice out of Bruce. In the end, they reached a truce by having the youngster become a junior Game Warden where Bruce will peruse the spruce for moose abuse.

The moral of the story: Don’t let loose on a goose because you might kill a moose behind a spruce. Instead, just stay home and drink your apple juice.