Fargo, ND – A new basketball league is being introduced for the first time in Fargo, North Dakota.
Fargo, North Dakota is going to roll out for the first time, a second basketball league said to compete with the NBA.
The ABL or Average Basketball League, is catered to average size people. Nobody taller than 6’3 is allowed in the league. The basketball hoop will be lowered a whole 3 feet which would bring it to a normal height of 7 feet total. The basketball will be smaller. Much smaller. About the size of a softball in fact. This way, everyone can get a good nice grip which they can slam home.
The rollout is expected to begin October 2015. Teams will begin recruiting as early as this summer. For the first season, 12 teams are expected to play. As many as 2 -6 new teams may be added by 2016. Some teams include the L.A Smells, Fargo Cold, and the Denver What Was I Just Doings.
Please contact the ABL if you are interested in playing in this new and exciting league for average sized people!
Miami, FL – NBA MVP LeBron James has once again, for the 2nd straight year and 3rd time in his career, led his team to the NBA Finals earning yet another shot at despair and failure. King James has been terrific throughout his career at playing well when it doesn’t count and putting up fantastic numbers pretty much always, except during clutch moments. This upcoming finals series will prove no different, as James is poised to make it 3-for-3:
“I’ve been here before. I know what it takes to lose. Instead of being the man in a clutch moment, I plan on deferring to a random teammate. I’m going to push hard for D-Wade to make things happen. Playing the role of decoy is what works for me and guarantees a series loss for my team.”
King went on to predict that his Heat would hang with the Thunder for “maybe 5 or 6” games, but if it went the full 7 he thinks they would definitely get blown out. We wish the best of luck to both teams as the first ever NBA Finals battle between two weather patterns gets underway this Tuesday.
Charlotte, NC – Legendary NBA baller Michael Jordan is worldly renowned for being the best professional basketball player of all time. ON the court. These days, his Airness has been occupying the complete opposite end of the NBA spectrum. He’s a majority owner of the worst professional basketball team around. The Charlotte Bobcats of the NBA are so terrible, they’ve won only 7 out of 66 games this season making that a win percentage of .106!
It’s mostly due to the unparalleled will and desire of Jordan, who in a recent post-game interview broke it down for the Observer:
“I have been dominating the game of basketball ever since college. I have quieted every single one of my doubters and haters. Frankly, I’ve gotten complacent with success so this year I’ve made the decision to fail. Gonna try it out. I plan to prove the doubters right and silence everyone who thought I could do it, who thought I could helm a successful team OFF the court.”
Air Jordan can be seen sitting courtside during most of the team’s games, presumably to strike fear and intimidation into his own squad. His presence seems to have a negative impact on the team as the Bobcats simply refuse to win under His Greatness’s watchful eye. Air is dominating the game like he always has. He knows exactly what he’s doing.