Tag Archives: ND


Man Sentenced To 75 Years In Prison For Stealing Neighbors Cow

CowMaza, ND – A man was sentenced to 75 years in prison this past Wednesday for stealing his neighbors cow.

Jim Benson, a local dairy farmer (whom Bill Burns worked for before joining the FM Observer), was arrested last week and charged with theft of property.

The property?  A cow.

Cops state that Mr. Benson dressed as a cow, “pranced” over to his neighbors cow barn late at night and stole their most milk producing cow, Betty.

Mr. Benson stated that he just needed some milk and that was all.  He will be eligible for parole in 10 years.

When asked if it was worth it he said, “Absolutely not. I should have just gone to the store for milk.”

Proof of a Yeti

Casselton Resident Says He Has Proof Of A Yeti

Casselton, ND – A Casselton resident states that he has indisputable proof that a Yeti visited his home earlier this morning.

Mr. Jones, a Casselton North Dakota resident was awakened early this morning to his doorbell ringing.  Upon answering the door, Mr. Jones stated that nobody was there.

“I live in the country and rarely have visitors.  I found it odd that someone would ring my doorbell in the morning.”

Mr. Jones then put on his winter gear and ventured outside just to make sure nobody needed help.

“That’s when I spotted these weird footprints.”

Below is the picture Mr. Jones captured of the footprint.

Proof of a Yeti

“Now, I know what a Yeti is.  I’ve watched the show finding bigfoot, one of my favorites I might add, so I immediately knew this was a Yeti footprint.  I couldn’t believe it!  Right in my front yard!”

Mr. Jones continued to search his property but didn’t find much.

“There was some type of feces on my doorstep.  I thought that was pretty weird.  I don’t know.  Maybe it wanted a beer.  It’s been cold out here for a while now.  I’d imagine the Yeti around here would like a warm house like mine to live in.  I’d welcome them in anytime!”

Mr. Jones is going to submit his evidence to the Yeti Research Institute immediately as he is sure he has absolutely proof that a Yeti visited his home.

What do you think?

Semi Loses Control On I-94 In West Fargo

Semi Loses Control On I-94 In West Fargo

Semi Loses Control On I-94 In West FargoWest Fargo, ND – After 12:30 yesterday afternoon, a semi heading west on 1-94 was exiting the West Fargo exit ramp when it rolled.

Police are still investigating what happened but would like to note that the semi did indeed somehow roll.  Thankfully the driver wasn’t left at the wreck but was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

The driver was likely going from Point A to Point B.  My best bet would be he lost of control of the semi which made it roll.  Sadly, the semi was most likely not a Transformer.  A Transformer would be able to transition into it’s robot self before sustaining any damage in a measly rollover.

As of today, no Transformers have been located in Fargo.  We are glad the driver has non-life threatening injuries and wish him a speedy recovery.

Fargo Potholes

The Cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead All Hate You

Fix itAs I was driving around in my car today it came to my attention that the cities of Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead hate everyone and want to punish you with potholes to death.

Why they would want to punish us or my car is confusing.  They want people to leave the state even faster?  My car didn’t do anything to any of these cities so why the hate?  That is the question everyone needs answered.

Every street I drove on and I mean EVERY SINGLE STREET, there were potholes everywhere that wanted to kick me and my car’s ass.  Below is what I literally felt like driving around town.


Every turn, every lane, there was disaster waiting for me.  “Alright I’m going to be smart about this and get into another lane.  Dang…gotta turn here, ahhh dammit!  Pothole right after the turn.  There goes my strut!  Better get into the other lane.  Ahhh dammit!  Didn’t see that pothole because the car in front of me.  There goes my tire!  Going to pass this car here to get away from the po….dammit!  Another pothole in between lanes!  There goes my entire underside!  I’m going to just close my eyes the rest of the way home.”  Any bump or crash will just be another pothole I told myself.

I finally arrived home with a mangled car that resembled nothing of its former self and I have the cities of West Fargo, Fargo, and Moorhead to thank.

Please, do me a favor and visit http://pothole.streets.cityoffargo.com/ and literally just report the entire city.  As you can see below, I went ahead and submitted a pothole.

Submit a pothole Fargo

Submit a pothole Fargo

I’ll sit right here and await their reply.