This valuable painting was completely smashed by a distracted driver texting LOL to a bad joke.
West Fargo, ND – A local couple was delightfully delighted to find out that their rummage sale painting was worth a lot of money.
Pipaluk Enoksen and his lovely wife Ivalu had brought their painting of a hummingbird to the Antique Roadshow to hopefully find out its current value.
After discoverying that the painting was a very rare one by Carl Renoir, the expert told them that their hummingbird painting was worth an estimated $500,000 at auction.
With this exciting new knowledge, Pipaluk and Ivalu Enoksen carefully put the hummingbird painting into the trunk of their car to drive home and celebrate.
Unfortunately, on the way home, the Enoksens were rear-ended by a texting distracted driver whilst stopped at a red light, completely destroying the uninsured painting, along with their hopes of retiring to the good life.
The future is here: framed oil paintings that actually move on the canvas!?
Fargo, ND – Local artist Amsterdam Douglass has apparently achieved the unachievable!
This semi-famous Fargo artist, previously mostly known for his altruistic generosities, has now somehow painted an oil painting that shows actual movement on the canvas upon which it was painted and within the frame in which it is physically bordered.
When asked how he did it, Amsterdam Douglass slowly smiled, while only saying: “Kinetic Oil Paints!”
When asked what the hell are kinetic oil paints, Amsterdam Douglass slowly smiled, as he gracefully reached for his legume-flavored vape pen.
When asked about his legume-flavored vaporizer, Amsterdam Douglass slowly blew a large, thick, legume-flavored vape cloud, into which he virtually vanished via vicarious vaporization.
Some don’t see much of a resemblance to Michelle Obama whilst others say: Who cares?!
Painter, Virginia – After the official unveiling of Michelle Obama’s portrait for the Smithsonian Institution, debate immediately began on its likeness to the painting’s subject.
Our painting expert, Amsterdam Douglass, believes a portrait painter has a wide latitude in which to express their creative interpretation of a person or object.
“I personally love the Michelle Obama portrait, painted by Amy Sherald, who certainly has her own style, as do we all. If they wanted an exact likeness of First Lady Michelle Obama, then they should have used a photograph.”
Many others have a much differing opinion which generally goes like this: the painting is great, but should probably look very similar to the person who’s being painted.
One critic of the portrait suggested that just the face in the painting be corrected to look more like the First Lady before it is permanently institutionalized at the Smithsonian.
Fargo, ND – Peter Maxim, an NDSU student majoring in Color Psychology, has come up with a great idea to make Downtown Fargo more attractive.
During the summer, Peter’s project called “Color My World” will gradually paint all of the old buildings in historic Downtown Fargo a specific palette of vibrant colors designed to bring the whole area to life.
“Gone will be the daze of drab and boring nothing-colors which have made the downtown area about as inviting as going to a divorce counseling session,” says Peter Maxim as he ponders what colors each individual building will be painted, based on their unique location and aura.
Peter Maxim: “Think of this project as basically a giant three-dimensional paint-by-number project needing hundreds of painters to change Fargo’s entire downtown area into livable art.”
Volunteer painters who help out the Color My World project will be provided free water compliments of the Buy Dehydrated Water company located on the internet.
If you would like to help make Downtown Fargo Great Again, please contact Mr. Peter Maxim or just show up downtown with a paintbrush, some safety glasses and a ladder, if you have one.
Masterpiece by Amsterdam Douglass to reap megabucks when sold at auction.
Fargo, ND – Super Artist and Renaissance Man Amsterdam Douglass unveiled his latest masterpiece to a small group of lucky friends the other night.Amsterdam Douglass calls the work: Slice Of Life.He also indicated that some of the cash gained from its sale might be given to the Slice Of Life Foundation, which essentially is a slush fund for hungry and motivated artists to eat, sleep, and paint, on a ranch for hungry artists.Volunteers will be needed at the ranch to serve coffee and cookies.If you have a special cookie recipe, please send it on a postcard to Ms. Honey McLove, here at the home office.Please include a note about yourself and your ancestry.Jean-Pierre Sloan believes that Amsterdam Douglass is perhaps the “premiere” talent today who crosses all borders of interest, gender, and style. Bi-weekly meetings are to be held in your neighborhood for family members to share a pot-luck dish of your own creation. A “Going Green” Hoedown will bring the community together just like the old days, starting with a Meet & Greet and the filling out of name tags.Amsterdam Douglass is also signing people up for a new neighborhood newsletter which will share ideas for ways to improve our existing social infrastructure.If you would like to be interviewed for the newsletter, again, contact Ms. Honey McLove and please don’t forget to indicate which department you want.Finally, we will end with a quotation from Amsterdam Douglass himself.“Between you and me and all the rest of the freaks, tomorrow cannot be as bad as today might have been.”Don’t forget to send in your postcard(s).Also remember that some of the proceeds of the art auction could possibly go to a “good cause”.