Tag Archives: pet

Fargo Woman Named ‘Siri’ Gets Asked A Lot Of Questions

Fargo resident Siri Kittlaus is a veritable magnet for questions throughout her day.

Fargo, ND – Siri Kittlaus, who’s been living in Fargo ever since she graduated from Concordia College, gets asked a lot of questions during a normal day.

Siri, who originally grew up in Sweden, explained to us that as soon as someone finds out her name, they usually ask her at least one question.

FMO: What are some of the most common questions that you’re asked?

Siri: Oh, it’s usually something like what’s the current weather in Denver, or how many grams in a cup of flour, and I can usually tell them the answers.

FMO: What are some frequent questions for which you don’t have the answers?

Siri: Oh, those would probably include 1. What is zero divided by zero? and 2. When will the world end?

FMO: How do you respond when someone asks if you have any good riddles or jokes?

Siri: Well, for those, I always carry around with me a small book of a thousand riddles and another with a thousand jokes.

FMO: Do you have any pets, and what’s your favorite color?

Siri: OK, I am now done answering your questions!

Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly

The newest addition to the Trump First Family: Dolly the Llama!

Washington, DC – Breaking from long-standing tradition once again, instead of introducing a new First Dog to the country as most presidents have done in the past, President Donald Trump and his First Family will be unveiling their new pet llama named Dolly.

As it was a gift from the Bolivian Llama Party, the First Llama hails from Bolivia where llamas are often adopted to become close members of Bolivian families who almost treat them as equals.

Dolly will freely roam the grounds of the White House for visitors to pet and perhaps even ride.

However, be forewarned that if she is overloaded with too much weight, Dolly the Llama may spit, hiss, or even kick, much like many Democrats have been doing ever since the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th president.

Consider Giving Komodo Dragons For Christmas

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Make this the best Christmas ever!

Dragoon, AZ – Are you looking to give your loved ones a Christmas gift to show how much you cherish their existence in your life? Consider giving them a full-grown Komodo Dragon.

Would you like to give your sworn enemies something to scare the shih tzu out of them once and for all? Consider giving them a full-grown Komodo Dragon.

Have you been looking for a solution to the barking little dog problem next door? Consider releasing a full-grown Komodo Dragon into their fenced-in back yard.

If you’re a lizardophile and like things large, the Komodo Dragon is unparalleled in the large lizard category.

With some growing up to ten feet long, just imagine the reaction you’ll get when you chase down Mr. Road Rager who flipped you off at the last intersection and who now gets to meet your 200 pound pet.

For a nice side income, consider breeding the Komodo Dragons and selling their young. The normal life span of these prehistoric creatures is about 30 years so there’s a lot of time to get attached to these fun carnivores who can swallow a goat in about fifteen minutes.

leopard gecko pet

Family Held Hostage By Pet Leopard Gecko

leopard gecko petWest Fargo, ND – The Taylors just wanted to get to a movie Saturday evening but ended up getting held hostage by their pet leopard gecko instead.

Friday night, the family leopard gecko got out of its cage somehow and had been lost in the house ever since.

The Taylors decided to have a family movie night and were all about to head out the door when there he suddenly was.  Bubbles, the families pet leopard gecko, was in the entryway.  He was motionless and staring at the entire family with an evil, blank stare.

Any effort a family member would make towards the door, the lizard would swiftly move and block their path thus trapping the family in the house.

The Taylors spent four entire days trapped inside their house as their pet lizard would not let them pass.

I asked why they didn’t just pick him up.

“Well, he tends to nip at your hands when you try and pick him up because he thinks your hand is food so that wasn’t an option.  He just sat there looking at us like he was going to hurt us.  We were frightened beyond belief.”

On day 4, the Taylors daughter remembered that she had a cellphone and called police.  West Fargo police sent out the SWAT team to the Taylors residence and were able to catch the lizard after a 10-hour standoff.

Nobody was injured.