Tag Archives: priest

Grade School Goes Into Emergency Lockdown When Catholic Priest Tries To Enter The Building

St. Peter Elementary School attacked by devilish Catholic priest.

Devils Elbow, Missouri – After seeing a Catholic priest trying to gain access to their grade school, St. Peter Elementary School went into full emergency lock-down to protect the children inside.

In the wake of The Pope’s recent comments that The Devil was to blame for all of the Catholic Church’s pervasive sexual abuse problems, it was very unnerving to see a robed Catholic priest trying to enter the school, according to all inside the building.

A middle-aged priest named Father Lucifer Hades, who was wearing an all-red robe and cap, continually tried to enter the school through each and every door while carrying and fondling his rosary, resulting in screaming children every time he gazed into a window.

One extremely distraught teacher who witnessed the attack said: “I have never been so afraid in all my life. We told all the kids to shelter in place while we called 9-1-1.”

Many Now See The Catholic Church As Institutionalized Pedophilia

Maybe not allowing Catholic priests to marry wasn’t such a great idea after all.

Vaticano – After endless stories of sexual abuse gradually see the light of day, many people, when they now think of the Catholic Church, primarily see it as an institution cloaked with chronic, criminal, pedophiliac activities.

To make matters worse, if that’s even possible, is that many of the abusive Catholic leaders threatened their young and innocent victims with eternal damnation if they ever spoke of the evil inflicted upon them by these supposedly godly men.

It seems the ones who should be worried about eternal damnation are the priests, bishops, archbishops, and cardinals who chose to “exercise their authority” in ways that normally would get one sent to prison for life.

If all the perpetrators involved are planning on avoiding any serious punishment by saying their sins are simply forgiven, then too, those who may inflict severe corporal punishment on them will also have their sins forgiven.

American Crystal Sugar Strike

Crookston Bishop To Host Prayer Service Sunday For American Crystal Workers Dispute

Crookston, MN – Bishop Michael Hoeppner, head of the Catholic Diocese of Crookston is coming to the rescue.  Bishop Michael has stated that he has seen the destruction and carnage strikes and disputes can cause.

“I’ve seen this before” Bishop Hoeppner stated.  “You have two groups that disagree for so long they end up wanting to kill each other.  I’ve seen it in the movies.”  That’s why it’s important to pray that such conflicts don’t arise out of the dispute between American Crystal Co. and the Bakery Workers union, he said.

It’s been nearly 10 months since union members rejected Crystal management’s proposed five-year contract.  The bishop is hosting a prayer service Sunday in Crookston, MN and will be inviting his own gang members Bishop Larry Wohlrabe of the Northwestern Minnesota Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and the Rev. Daniel Wolpert of Crookston Presbyterian Church.

He stated that in case things get out of hand, he will at least have more priests on his side to fight the resistance.  “I might have to end up using my mind powers and the power of prayer to fight back if trouble were to arise” he stated.

One thing he did want to make sure everyone is aware of is that there will be donation boxes every 10ft on the way to the church.  “Jesus needs a new car” he said.


If you go

What: Prayer service for the resolution of the American Crystal labor dispute

When: 7 p.m. Sunday

Where: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, 702 Summit Ave. in Crookston

Info: Everyone is welcome (bring your wallets preferably with a lot of money)


Super AIDS, living zombies, stupid fucks breeding in record numbers, Alotta Fagina the local prostitute who can’t perform her job in peace and quiet without getting arrested,  are a few other prayer service ideas.

Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul Greenbush, MN

Priest Arrested In India for Sexually Assaulting A Minnesota Girl In 2004.

Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul Greenbush, MNGrand Forks, ND – A priest touching made national headlines due to one glaring difference: victim was a female.  Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul, 57 was arrested for sexually assaulting two girls in 2004 and 2005 while being a pedophile priest at Blessed Sacrament church in Greenbush, Minn.  One of the accused victims was Megan Peterson.  She was 14 at the time of the assault.

It is nothing new that priests are generally known for their affinity for tiny penis.  In fact, if your boy is at church right now, there is a good chance that the priest is probably touching his penis.  It’s so common, priests across the nation lobbied to pass a law called “Priests For Penis.”  This called for making it legal only for priests to touch any little boy’s penis they wanted.  After Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul’s arrest, they discussed changing this proposed law to include females but only as a RARE exception.

Megan Peterson expects to work with the county attorney’s office in Roseau in returning Jeyapaul to Minnesota to face the criminal charges.