Tag Archives: real

Cigar-Shaped Alien Spacecraft Actually A Large French Bread Heading For Fargo

Mr. Hankey believes this is indeed an alien spacecraft based on the fact that it actually has functional headlights.

Oumuamua, Hawaii – The FM Observer is proudly excited to exclusively report that we have just received confirmation from Mr. Hankey that the large meteor which is on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota is actually an alien spacecraft disguised as a giant French bread even though CNN has been referring to it as one of Bill Clinton’s wayward cigars.

Mr. Hankey in his own words: “By using special equipment at our FM Observatory on Hawaii, we have noticed that the alien French bread not only has headlights, but they are actually turned on, and aiming directly at Fargo, North Dakota.”

“Not only that, but we have also picked up radio waves from this French bread which seem to be continually broadcasting Rush Limbaugh’s theme song, intermittently interrupted with a high-pitched voice asking for a secret meeting with Donald Trump and his son-in-law.”

Because of this new revelation, special counsel Robert Mueller now believes President Trump (with some assistance from Stephen Hawking) has been colluding with aliens, which are seemingly on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota, whilst travelling at the speed of bread inside a large French-made spacecraft waiting to be lit like a Clintonian cigar.

Fargo Man Becomes Very Attached To His Brick

My brick is always there for me, it’s real, and makes a great companion.

Fargo, ND – One fine day, Mr. Wade Dumpkins was out for his walk when he came upon a single solitary brick laying on the ground at the edge of an abandoned construction site.

After carefully looking around, Mr. Dumpkins picked up the brick and then decided to carry it home with him.

Mr. Wade Dumpkins has now been taking this brick pretty much everywhere he goes for the last twenty five years.

I love my brick. Isn’t that all that matters?

“It’s become my companion, my best friend, my rock, if you will,” admits Wade, as he lovingly hold his brick in his lap.

“When so much today is not real, like all that fake news on Facebook that caused Hillary to lose it, this orphaned simple brick that I found is something real, dammit, something tangible, someone who is always there for me, do you know what I’m saying?”

Yes, Wade Dumpkins, we do know what you’re saying!