April 24th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – What many have been fighting for for forty four fruitless fortnights may soon finish with fruitional finality. The remains of Fort Fargo, which was originally built at the beginning of Fargo’s war with...
March 18th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Fargo’s very own Amsterdam Douglass is donating his most famous recent painting for auction to help raise funds for Fargo’s focused fight for freedom from feared forecasted floods. The painting,...
August 29th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – In an effort to explain why the Red River Diversion project is still only in the early planning stages, there will be a public meeting to answer questions from frustrated citizens. One question might be:...
February 22nd, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – A long-time resident of Fargo who was one of the first to originally support the Red River Diversion feels that the city needs a little extra motivation to get the job done. So, Harold Myerson is planning on not...
December 23rd, 2016 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather...
September 16th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – If you see small groups of turkeys along the Red River in Moorhead, chances are the police will not be far behind. Moorhead Police are now using domesticated, trained wild turkeys to solve many heretofore...
July 26th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – In an effort to increase the efficiency of the Mighty Red River of the North, the Army Corps of Engineers is going to straighten out the river’s seemingly random and needlessly meandering route. “By making an...
March 3rd, 2016 | by
Jake Fargo, ND – Ralph Malph, a local busboy, informed us at the FM Observer that a huge change is coming to the controversial FM Diversion. Ralph was working his usual tables and overheard a city official discussing top secret...
November 23rd, 2015 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Thanks to Algore for first inventing the Internet, and then Global Warming, Fargo’s new Party Barge will be providing tours of the Red River throughout the entire year. The Party Barge is an actual...
October 27th, 2015 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Scientists have discovered a family of Sea Monkeys living in the Red River near downtown Fargo. Sea Monkeys were recently moved off of the endangered species list. These cute little suckers are now considered...