Recipes For Success

Red River Diversion Still Trying To Begin Long After It Should Have Been Finished
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Red River Diversion Still Trying To Begin Long After It Should Have Been Finished

August 29th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – In an effort to explain why the Red River Diversion project is still only in the early planning stages, there will be a public meeting to answer questions from frustrated citizens. One question might be:...
Elderly Fargo Man Will Not Pay His Property Taxes Until Diversion Is Done
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Elderly Fargo Man Will Not Pay His Property Taxes Until Diversion Is Done

February 22nd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A long-time resident of Fargo who was one of the first to originally support the Red River Diversion feels that the city needs a little extra motivation to get the job done. So, Harold Myerson is planning on not...
Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River
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Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River

December 23rd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather...
Police Turkeys Helping Moorhead Police Solve Crimes
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Police Turkeys Helping Moorhead Police Solve Crimes

September 16th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – If you see small groups of turkeys along the Red River in Moorhead, chances are the police will not be far behind. Moorhead Police are now using domesticated, trained wild turkeys to solve many heretofore...
Army Corps Of Engineers To Straighten Out Red River For Improved Flowability
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Army Corps Of Engineers To Straighten Out Red River For Improved Flowability

July 26th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In an effort to increase the efficiency of the Mighty Red River of the North, the Army Corps of Engineers is going to straighten out the river’s seemingly random and needlessly meandering route. “By making an...
Project Update for the FM Diversion
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Project Update for the FM Diversion

March 3rd, 2016 | by Jake
Fargo, ND – Ralph Malph, a local busboy, informed us at the FM Observer that a huge change is coming to the controversial FM Diversion. Ralph was working his usual tables and overheard a city official discussing top secret...
Fargo’s New Party Barge To Run On Red River Yearound Thanks To Global Warming
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Fargo’s New Party Barge To Run On Red River Yearound Thanks To Global Warming

November 23rd, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Thanks to Algore for first inventing the Internet, and then Global Warming, Fargo’s new Party Barge will be providing tours of the Red River throughout the entire year. The Party Barge is an actual...
Endangered Sea Monkeys Found In Fargo’s Red River
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Endangered Sea Monkeys Found In Fargo’s Red River

October 27th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Scientists have discovered a family of Sea Monkeys living in the Red River near downtown Fargo. Sea Monkeys were recently moved off of the endangered species list. These cute little suckers are now considered...
Funny Looking Man Finds Bar Of Gold In Red River
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Funny Looking Man Finds Bar Of Gold In Red River

May 14th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A funny looking man named Sid Bingsted found a large bar of gold on the banks of the Red River near Fargo, ND. Mister Bingsted believes that it could be worth a lot of money based upon its girth-size. He...
Red River Plays Sick Joke.  Drowning Inflatable Doll Sparks 20 Man Police Rescue.
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Red River Plays Sick Joke. Drowning Inflatable Doll Sparks 20 Man Police Rescue.

July 24th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The Red River is back in the news again.  Not too long ago we reported the Red River being a dickhead and getting on the residents bad side. In a following story, the Red River and it’s residents made up...