Tag Archives: release

Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?

One thing that everyone agrees on: Domesticated cats are now obsolete!

Catalina, Arizona – We recently surveyed less than a million people asking about cats as pets.

The overall consensus from our expensive and extensive survey was that domesticated cats have now become obsolete.

Case in point: Let’s take the average domesticated cat for example.

Your typical house cat has become bored, lazy, and fat.

Today’s modern couch cat goes from catatonic cat naps to over-using recreational catnip with an occasional caterwaul for more of the same.

Domesticated cats are an embarrassment to their species and are nearly unrecognizable from their ancestral progenitors.

The solution to this catastrophe is to release today’s home-bound cats out into the wild to give them a purpose again: Mouse and Vole Patrol!

In summary: Do we really still need to have domesticated cats? The answer is a categorical: NO!

Call of Duty

Infinity Ward To Release Call Of Duty 5,6,7, and 8 All Next Month

Call of DutyEncino, CA – Due to the recent problems within the company, Infinity Ward looks to release multiple call of duties all next month.

Infinity Ward has had quite a few internal problems lately.  Their first slick move was on March 1, 2010 where they fired Jason West (Infinity Ward president, and CTO) and Vince Zampella (CEO and co-founder of Infinity Ward).  What followed that were multiple lawsuits.  Lastly and most recently was the departure of Robert Bowling in 2012.

Infinity Ward knows its subscriber base.  They will literally buy anything.  With that, Infinity Ward looks to release Call of Duty 5, Call of Duty 6, Call of Duty 7, and Call of Duty 8 all next month.

Fans of the series also have exclusive access to purchase seasons passes for each and every title for the low cost of 1500 Microsoft points per game.  Each season pass will consist of multiplayer maps from all previous Call of Duty series that you already probably bought.

With these releases, Infinity Ward hopes it will keep their fans busy so they may focus on releasing Call of Duty 9 the month after.