Tag Archives: restaurant

Fargo Man Gains Sixty Pounds In One Sitting At All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

Fargo man gains 60 lbs in 3 hours.

Fargo, ND – Richard Roundhouse of rural Fargo entered the House Of Food buffet restaurant weighing 310 pounds.

When Mr. Roundhouse finally decided to leave the House Of Food three hours later, the scale indicated that Richard now weighed in at 370 pounds.

Fargo’s new House Of Food restaurant charges by the pound, and therefore invites each customer to weigh in upon arrival, and then again at checkout.

The bad news is Richard’s bill came to $240 but the good news is that Mr. Roundhouse set a new House Of Food record.

Fargo Lobster Bisque Company Goes Belly Up Due To Lack Of Local Lobsters

It would’ve been real nice to have a Lobster Bisque company here in Fargo but apparently they forgot the Feasibility Study.

Fargo, ND – Even before it officially opened its doors for business, the Fargo Lobster Bisque Company is officially closing its doors.

Selbo Berquist is the owner of the already defunct Fargo Lobster Bisque Company who now admits: “Yeah, we prolly forgot to do our due diligence and go with the highly recommended Feasibility Study which prolly would’ve red flagged us to the fact that Fargo does not have a large lobster population living in the area.”

So what are Mr. Berquist’s plans for the future?

“Well, we have heard the Minnesota lakes area is starting to produce a plethora of zebra mussels so we are prolly looking into re-packaging ourselves in that general direction,” Selbo ponders. 

Ironically, all the lobsters in Selbo Berquist can bisquely be re-arranged to spell: Lobster Bisque!

New Downtown Fargo Bar/Restaurant To Provide Horse Stables For Its Cowboy Patrons

Buck McRoyster here gearing up his horse Trigger in Downtown Fargo’s new Lariat Bar & Horse Hotel.

Fargo, ND – With an increasing number of cowboy customers riding horseback due to Global Warming, Downtown Fargo will soon have a new restaurant/bar which will also provide an old-fashioned stables to hold your horses in comfort while the cowboys hava shot of whiskey and an Old West-style meal while their horses get fed, bathed, and groomed by friendly equinologists from the NDSU extension agency as a way of earning credits towards their degree in Horse Park Management Services.

The owner/manager of the new Lariat Bar & Restaurant & Stables is Buck McRoyster who sees his place filling a much needed niche in today’s green society.

“Yeah, like, if you are riding horse and want to stop by for a good meal and maby a bier or two, there just ain’t a lot of places you can go these daze that can accommodate a horse like my Trigger here,” Buck says.

“The Lariat should be quite popular with all the old time cowboys who still ride with pride, doyanowhatimsayn?”

Cowboy McRoyster also mentioned to us that they may eventually add a nice hotel and Massage Parlor.

New Family Restaurant Offers All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes

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Eat more than 20 pancakes and your breakfast is FREE!

Fargo, ND – If you’re super hungry for a great breakfast, go to Hotcakes!

The newest family restaurant in the FM area specializes in breakfast – all day long.

At ridiculously reasonable prices, they offer large glasses of fresh-squeezed Florida orange juice, 100% organic country pork sausage, just-laid eggs from healthy chickens, all-you-can-eat light & fluffy buttermilk pancakes, and maple syrup just tapped from a tree and flown in from Vermont by drones.

As a special offer, if you can eat more than 20 pancakes, your entire breakfast is FREE!

If you can eat more than 30 pancakes, you’re invited to sign up for fabulous monthly prizes which include: Ca$H, a new golf cart, a trip to Grand Forks, and a baby elephant named Dumbo.

If you’re looking for the best breakfast in town and you’re hungry enough to eat a horse, go to Hotcakes!

Restaurant review: McDonald’s never fails (to disappoint)

ronald_mcdonald_jumping1-1Fargo, ND – It all starts as soon as you wake up in the morning. You’ve overslept. You’re running late to work. Now, in order to fill your daily “quota” or keep on task at the office, you have to cut corners. You are forced to shorten your lunch hour. One minute, you have plans to meet a friend at a respectable establishment like Toscana. The next minute, you have to cancel and hit up the McDonald’s drive-thru because you’re pressed for time.

Couldn’t be a worse lunchtime scenario. Gag. Driven by the need for convenience, I begrudgingly head out to my car at 12:35 (a little over a half hour into my lunch hour) and speed off to the nearest McDonald’s. During the entire 1-minute drive my mind is racing frantically, trying to figure out how I got here. How I found myself in this miserable situation.

“Where did I go wrong?? Lack of preparation? Irresponsibility? So much could have been done to prevent this from happening.”

By the time I end up in the drive-thru lane, my mind is in such a state of turmoil that i’m no longer hungry. Frankly, i’m sick to my stomach with disgust. The good news: only 3 cars in front of me, so this should go quick. The bad news: only 3 cars in front of me, so it’s decision-making time. These lines move fast. The last time I was at a McDonald’s there were still leaves on the trees, making the impromptu drive-thru decision that much more difficult.

What’s this? They’ve revamped the dollar menu yet again?? The usual suspects are there (Big Mac, Quarter-Pounder), but my appetite is not. In the back of my head i’ve already predicted the outcome:

“Gotta make this simple. For Christ’s sake, be smart. Don’t over-analyze this. Two double-cheeseburgers and you are outta here.”

By the time i’m at the drive-thru speaker, my heart rate is jacked. I’m sweating. The last thing on my mind at this point is eating McDonald’s fast food, but again, i’m left with no choice. I blurt out my order, pay, and proceed to find my parking spot. I will sit there, alone in my car with tears running down my face, choking back a who-knows-what burger and swallowing my pride in the process.

McDonald’s – ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆