Tag Archives: scary

Clown Parade Coming To Downtown Fargo :o)

Hey, you can totally trust me! I’m just a nice friendly old scary clown!

Fargo, ND – Downtown Fargo will soon be invaded by thousands of clowns from across the country.

Many clowns will be descending on Clowntown Fargo because it’s the next site of the annual national Clown Parade.

Despite the fact that clowns have gotten more and more scary during the past few decades, some children are still attracted to clown parades, mainly for all the free candy.

But, how much can you really trust freek candy from a scary clown in a clown parade in Downclown Fargo?

Watch your local news for informational updates on the upcoming Clown Parade in Clowntown Fargo.

Or, if you need immediate assistance, please visit any of the local clowns currently living under the bridge over troubled waters down near Downclown Fargo.

Uncle Screwball Warning Trick-Or-Treaters To Avoid Scary Clowns Like Him

Hi Kids! If you see a bad clown like me on Halloween, run in the opposite direction.

Moorhead, MN As a public service in the name of survival safety, the infamous clown named Uncle Screwball (who is best known for freaking kids out) wants to warn parents and children to stay away from any scary-looking clowns around Halloween time.

Uncle Screwball not only wants to warn trick-or-treaters to avoid himself, but also some of his scary clown friends who also fall into the category of dark, bad, and twisted.

It would be best to avoid: Doctor Loopy, Ga-Gonzo, Mr. Wacko, Nutso Job, Loony Brain, Big Bonkers, and Krazy Kook,” according the the admonishing Uncle Screwball.

The god-father of all psycho-clowns goes on to tell kids: “Bad clowns can be anywhere, so always stay watchful. They may be sitting motionless on a porch holding a bucket of candy, or hiding behind a large bush, or even quietly walking right behind you. Bad clowns have a lot of good tricks!”

New ‘Cat Fight’ Movie Will Scare The Shit Out Of Cat Lovers

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Here Kitty Kitty!

Hollywood, CA – Set to open just before Halloween, the highly anticipated latest new scary movie called “Cat Fight” from Director Blaze Benzun will shirley deliver.

Cat lover and owner Shirley Nightly sees her lovable cat Fritz, whom she once found as a cute little abandoned kitten, go from a normal, decent cat to the mega-nightmare cat that only Blaze Benzun could have concocted.

People that have seen the movie have reportedly gone home and immediately “gotten rid of” their cat(s) out of incurable chronic acute felinophobia.

Look for Cat Fight at any theaters near you that show all those super scary movies around Halloween time.

Don’t try to trick the cat after you offer it a treat!

Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants

madonnaarmsLos Angeles, CA – World-renowned pop music singer and diva Madonna was recently asked in an interview about the satisfaction and comfort of her penis arm implants:

“I absolutely love them. They fit me so well. They were donated from a pair of twin boys who sadly perished in a car accident a few years ago. When I heard about the accident, my first thought was ‘are their peepees ok?’

“Then, when the doctors gave me the go-ahead for surgery, I had to get a buy-off from the next of kin. I knew i’d have to purchase the fleshrods off of the boys’ dead bodies. The family was reluctant to donate their flaccid organs at first, but when they saw the cash I was willing to put up they said ‘The dongs are yours, take them!’ and i’m soooo glad I did!”

The Observer seems to think that the singer’s body is rejecting the surgically implanted male members. They look like they’re trying to escape. Come on, Madonna. Iggy Pop thinks that’s a tired look. This is just a thought, but maybe instead of faking it with wang-arms, Madonna could maybe lift some weights? Inject a little protein in the diet? I dunno. Maybe i’m old-fashioned. Maybe dong-insertion is the wave of the future.