Tag Archives: star wars

Expert Now Believes Universe Began And Will Also End With A Big Bang

If you like big fireworks, you will love being around for the final Big Bang! –Dr. Gabbin Fingal

Bangor, Maine – Dr. Gabbin Fingal now has good reason to believe that the universe will end just like it began.

Dr. Fingal’s highly scientific model of the universe has repeatedly shown that the original Big Bang of creation can and will very likely be eventually followed by a final Big Bang of total disintegration.

Dr. Gabbin Fingal in his own words:

“This is what i believe, and what I believe is this, Sir Isaac Newton’s third law which states that ‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’ assuredly also applies to the universe’s creational Big Bang.”

“When will this happen? It depends on how you set your Universal Clock.

Scientifically, all the letters in Gabbin Fingal can be exploded into: Final Big Bang!

Next Fargo Air Show Promises Some Amazing Never-Seen-Before Acts

One amazing act involves jets flying in opposite directions but sharing the same smoke trail!

Fargo, ND – The upcoming Fargo Air Show has somehow put together fifteen new acts and entertainment for people who think they’ve seen everything.

Yo, you ain’t seen nothing like this year’s line-up of aerial grande entertainment!

Here is a “summerized” listing of fifteen reasons why you should not miss this next Fargo Air Show:

The Flying Nuns
Giant Space Cannon
Phone Drone juggling
Stealth bomber rides
Mega G-Force Stimulator
Mach Four demonstrations
Jet Pack Races for all ages
Snoopy’s Sopwith Camel flyover
Meet & Greet some NASA monkeys
Cloud Seeding by the Rainmakers
Princess Layla’s Star Wars ship
Opposite-direction jet smoke trails
Wright Brothers 1st flight re-enactment
Trained Bald Eagles flying in formations
Vertical hot air balloon rides to stratosphere

George Soros Admits To Being Emperor Palpatine

George Soros is Emperor Palpatine is George Soros

George Soros is Darth Sidious is Emperor Palpatine

Naboo, Chommell Sector – After receiving a tip from one of our readers, we did some old-fashioned investigative reporting and discovered that George Soros is Emperor Palpatine.

Both of these identities are also the same person we know as Darth Sidious who is most famous for saying “Everything is proceeding as I have forseen.”

Originally born in Budapest, young George Soros got stationed on Naboo in the Chommell Sector where he quickly rose to become the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic and ultimately became the Emperor of the Galactic Empire.

So, the next time someone asks: “Who is George Soros?”, you can answer with confidence that he is Emperor Palpatine who is more commonly known as Darth Sidious.

It’s Official: Jar Jar Binks Is Moving To Fargo!

Donatella Versace shares her beauty secrets.

Say hello to Fargo’s newest celebrity!

Fargo, ND – After much behind-the-scenes planning and excitement, Jar Jar “JJ” Binks has decided to “settle down” in Fargo, North Dakota.

Known for being one of the most popular of all the Star Wars characters, a large portion of JJ’s vast wealth comes from his Binks Armored Truck services and for briefly being married to the very lovely and super rich Donatella Versace.

Mr. Binks says he is moving to Fargo because of the region’s relative safety and lack of paparazzi.

Jar Jar’s message to the people of Fargo: “Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant!”

Jar Jar is also seeking a life mate.

JJ likes walks down by the river, sipping wine, back rubs, book discussion clubs, and watching Kung Fu late at night.