Everywhere, USA – Over the last decade, nearly every facet of our society has embraced the concept of going paperless.
We’re encouraged – sometimes downright shamed – to reduce our paper waste by doing everything we can, from recycling paper products and paying our bills online to bringing our own reusable bags to the grocery store.
So how is it possible in this age of awareness and technology that, roughly every three months, a giant tome of totally unnecessary information printed in the world’s smallest font shows up again, unrequested, on our doorsteps?
The FMObserver is here to help with a few solutions for this outrageously outdated squandering of natural resources.
1. Send us your creative ideas for using extra phonebooks, which we will compile into a huge informational guide and distribute city-wide. 2. Hoard your phonebooks until June, when the FMO will use them for kindling at our Readers Appreciation Campfire & S’Mores Party. 3. (Recommended) Opt out of auto-delivery by going online to yellowpagesoptout.com
We hope you’ll join us in the fight against excess in our community! Well, excess phonebooks, anyway.
Fargo, ND – Office Police have formally charged Mr. Kenneth Noisewater with a class A felony in stupidity after his inadvertent ‘reply all’ to a company email.
Noisewater allegedly hit the ‘reply all’ button instead of a normal ‘reply’ after a mass email requesting an attendance head count to a company BBQ was sent out. Here is a transcript of Noisewater’s boneheaded maneuver:
From: Kenneth Noisewater
Sent: Monday, July 23 2013
To: All Company Employees, Human Resources
Subject: Re: COMPANY BBQ
I will be attending the BBQ this Thrusday. Thx
Kenneth Noisewater, esq
Wow. Not only did Kenneth hit ‘reply all’, but he also gifted the ENTIRE COMPANY with a typographical error (see: Thrusday). Doofus. Spell check much?? Not to mention the use of the selfishly abbreviated Thanks (see: Thx). I hope the Office Gestapo comes down on him hard during sentencing after he’s convicted of Felony Stupidity.