Tag Archives: west fargo police

West Fargo Adding Seven New Robo-Cops To Its Police Force

Expect to soon start seeing Robo-Cops like this bad boy in your neighborhood.

West Fargo, ND – To keep up with a growing demand for police presence, West Fargo has gotten the OK to add seven new Robo-Cops to its department.

Analysis of a recent survey showed that the City-On-The-Grow actually needed nine new officers but West Fargo’s Police Chief believes that seven new Robo-Cops should take care of their need to reshape the department in the right direction for the city’s future.

Even though each new Robo-Cop costs about $150-thousand dollars, a generous grant from the justice department will help with that cost.

The Robo-Cop Corporation points out that Robo-Cops can work one continuous 160-hour shift each week, needing only 8 hours for maintenance and to recharge.

West Fargo’s Police Chief also adds that these new Robo-Cops don’t have to be paid like their human counterparts, but he quickly added: “But don’t tell them that!”

West Fargo Police Officers Investigate Bathroom Bomb

9864175616_e261c881e3_bWest Fargo, ND – The West Fargo Police Department responded to a call about a bomb going off in the bathroom of the Furniture For Less store located on Sheyenne Street in West Fargo.

Police state that they immediately deployed their bomb sniffing robot into the bathroom.  Upon entry, police state that they found Bryan Livits, 35, pants down, passed out on the bathroom floor.  Shit……..everywhere.

The police are reporting that Bryan had had Taco Bell earlier for lunch and that he didnt think it would melt his entire insides.  He apologizes to everyone involved and especially wanted to apologize to the cleanup crew.

Police would like to warn the public that eating fast food has its consequences and they will be looking to ban it in the near future.

West Fargo To Implement New Bike Lane Law Effective Immediately

West Fargo, ND – Concerned West Fargo citizens held a town hall meeting last week that created enough concern, the West Fargo Police Department will implement a new bike lane law EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

Tim (The Toxic Ninja) Thompson, the neighborhood superhero, was riding his mountain bike early last week when he spotted an overweight child or “fat kid” riding a small motorized scooter on the bike path.  See picture below.

No Longer Allowed

What he just witnessed made Tim (The Toxic Ninja) Thompson immediately reminisce about his childhood days where he actually had to physically push his scooter with his legs and feet such as the one below.  This involved an almost full body workout which, back in the day, believe it or not, was considered good for you.

A Real Scooter

Angry and concerned, Tim had to fulfill his superhero duties and call in a town hall meeting.  Here, the citizens heard Tim’s plea and all agreed.  No longer are fatkids allowed to ride motorized scooters on all West Fargo City bike paths effective immediately.

The police department would like to advise parents to have their overweight children use any transportation that actually involves physically moving your body to move it.  Like the scooter pictured above.  It also includes the overweight children themselves.  Meaning, have them walk.  No longer should you wheelbarrow them around, roll them from point a to b, or have them ride motorized scooters.