Lake fermentation is one of the early signs of a bigger problem: Global Fermentation.
Vergas, MN – Trained experts from Minnesota’s department of natural resources are saying that some lakes are now starting to show early signs of fermentation.
Dr. Martie Fenton, who has studied fermentation since he joined a fraternity in college, says that these early signs of lake fermentation are a harbinger of things to come regarding Global Fermentation.
Dr. Fenton in his own fermented words: “The lakes where we are seeing fermentation are usually related to where there are a lot of people living or camping such as Beers Lake near Maplewood State Park.”
A few other lakes on the fermentation list are: Whiskey Lake, Scotch Lake, Bootleg Lake, and also Highlife Lake.
If you think your lake is starting to ferment, please call the Minnesota DNR at your earliest convenience so that trained experts can come out and sip samples of your lake water.
Ironically, all of the letters in Martie Fenton can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Fermentation!
Buck McRoyster here gearing up his horse Trigger in Downtown Fargo’s new Lariat Bar & Horse Hotel.
Fargo, ND – With an increasing number of cowboy customers riding horseback due to Global Warming, Downtown Fargo will soon have a new restaurant/bar which will also provide an old-fashioned stables to hold your horses in comfort while the cowboys hava shot of whiskey and an Old West-style meal while their horses get fed, bathed, and groomed by friendly equinologists from the NDSU extension agency as a way of earning credits towards their degree in Horse Park Management Services.
The owner/manager of the new Lariat Bar & Restaurant & Stables is Buck McRoyster who sees his place filling a much needed niche in today’s green society.
“Yeah, like, if you are riding horse and want to stop by for a good meal and maby a bier or two, there just ain’t a lot of places you can go these daze that can accommodate a horse like my Trigger here,” Buck says.
“The Lariat should be quite popular with all the old time cowboys who still ride with pride, doyanowhatimsayn?”
Cowboy McRoyster also mentioned to us that they may eventually add a nice hotel and Massage Parlor.
Fargo, ND—Upon riding his janky old Huffy to the Nestor off-sale for the 5th time this week, local drunkard Gendle Mungripper still actively refuses to re-evaluate what you or I would call an unfortunate life situation.
“I was once a Rhodes Scholar. I held multiple accounts for multiple investment firms. Prosperity comes with a hefty price tag,” Mungripper griped as he dismounted his rusty 10-speed and fumbled for a pocket full of crumpled bills that he would ultimately trade for the day’s whiskey fix.
“Have you ever been talked to like a child amongst a room full of suited-up board members? No? Well then you couldn’t possibly understand why I chose to trade that garbage lifestyle for one in which I wake up and have but one responsibility: to get my flattened ass to a Fargo, North Dakota boozin’ cesspool and submit my panhandled pennies for a fifth of the sweet, warming comfort of Jim Beam.”
Mungripper seems perfectly fine with his current slate of affairs, even if it does mean shedding his dignity prior to leaving his cardboard condo every cold winter morning.