Tag Archives: whistleblower

Mute Man Learns How To Communicate By Using A French Horn

After being born, he learned how to horn.

Elk Horn, Iowa – When Lon Terhark was born, he was unable to vocalize, officially making him a mute.

But luckily for Lon, his school band director encouraged him to take up playing French Horn.

Now, Lon Terhark has learned how to use his French Horn to communicate.

He has even met a woman who also uses her French horn to blow messages to Lon.

Whenever the two resort to swearing, they jokingly say: “Pardon my French horn!”

After the two get married, they would like to quietly start their own business selling decorative Christmas hornaments.

Not surprisingly, all of the letter in Lon Terhark can be blown to spell: Horn Talker!

Russia Says It’s Not Harboring Any Pale, Colorless Americans

washington-urges-russia-to-return-edward-snowden-to-usMoscow, Russia—Vladimir Putin and his evil band of KGB cronies vehemently stated earlier today that they are not knowingly in possession of any ghastly-looking American males, especially those named Edward Snowman.

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said defiantly in response to the United States’ demand for extradition, “We don’t have your Mr. Snow White. Mother Russia does not know the whereabouts of your Casper Friendly Ghost, and even if Mother Russia did, it would not simply give Frosty Snow Man over to you free of charge.”

Officials representing many countries around the world are not entirely sure of the whereabouts of Colorless Carmen San Diego. Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is said to be in contact with Edward Snowman, saying that the Great White Whistleblower was “only passing through Russia” and may be en route to Ecuador or perhaps Iceland.

Wherever Edward Snowden does happen to land, we hope he’s finally able to get some sun.