Recipes For Success

CNN’s Anderson Pooper Gets South Park Award For Swearing 81 Times In One Hour
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CNN’s Anderson Pooper Gets South Park Award For Swearing 81 Times In One Hour

January 12th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Cooper, TX – History was made last night when Anderson Pooper swore 81 times on an hour long prime-time show. After Anderson decided to say “shit-hole” once, the dam had been broken, and it and variations of it...
President Expected To Swear More After Study Shows Profanity Is Sign Of Honesty
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President Expected To Swear More After Study Shows Profanity Is Sign Of Honesty

January 5th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – President Trump, in an effort to quickly increase how honest he is perceived, will not only start swearing more in his public comments and tweets, but will also encourage his entire fucking Cabinet to all...
Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit
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Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit

November 21st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Touchet, WA – A recently deceased woman claims that she was groped by then President Woodrow Wilson whilst she was on a group tour of the White House. Ms. Gerda Powis of Touchet, Washington wrote in her detailed memoirs...
Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly
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Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly

February 23rd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Breaking from long-standing tradition once again, instead of introducing a new First Dog to the country as most presidents have done in the past, President Donald Trump and his First Family will be...
After Trump Converts To Mormonism, He Plans To Add Another First Lady
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After Trump Converts To Mormonism, He Plans To Add Another First Lady

February 4th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – It has somehow been leaked that President Trump may soon use an executive order to add another First Lady to the White House after his anticipated upcoming conversion from Presbyterian to Mormonism. Now we...
Hillary Clinton Recruiting Tech Students To Host Her Email Server
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Hillary Clinton Recruiting Tech Students To Host Her Email Server

May 7th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – As the presumptive president Hillary Rodham Clinton proactively prepares to move back into the White House along with her husband Bill and his concubine Monica Lewinsky, the former Secretary of State is...
One Millionth ObamaCare Signee To Receive Free Healthcare For Life
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One Millionth ObamaCare Signee To Receive Free Healthcare For Life

December 10th, 2013 | by Nick
Washington, DC—In an effort to bolster support for his controversial new healthcare system, President Obama announced today that the 1,000,000th Affordable Care Act registrar will be awarded free healthcare for life....