Tag Archives: winner

Fargo Man Promises If He Wins Lottery Jackpot, He’ll Give Everyone In Fargo One Dollar

If I win, you also will win!

Fargo, ND – In a magnanimous gesture of possible future generosity, a long-time Fargo resident has vowed to give everyone living in Fargo one dollar if and when he wins a lottery jackpot.

Roy Alleen Overdorf in his own words:

I, Roy Alleen Overdorf, do hereby swear on a brand new stack of unread Bibles, that if and when I win a very large multi-million dollar lottery jackpot, I will personally give to each and every living human Fargo resident, one U.S. dollar, so help me God.

As you can imagine, many folks we talked to about this amazing development are obviously hoping and praying that Mr. Overdorf soon wins a lottery jackpot, not so much for his gain, but more so for their own greedy profit.

As you can also probably imagine, all of the letters in Roy Alleen Overdorf can be randomly tumbled into spelling: Dollar For Everyone!

Lottery Winner From Fargo Blows It All On A Single Purchase

Say hello to the 118 foot Wally-118 made by Wally Yachts of the Ferretti Group.

Fargo, ND – After winning a $33 million jackpot in one of the various lottery games, Tommy Swinehart decided to buy himself a real nice boat.

Since he had just won big, Tommy wanted to think big.

Mr. Swinehart ended up purchasing a Wally 118 luxury motor yacht.

This incredibly designed boat tops out at 70 mph due to its 16,800 total horsepower.

Within its 118 foot length, the Wally 118 has a saloon, a dining area, a navigation cockpit, and holds 5,800 gallons of fuel.

Tommy also fell in love with the six plasma TVs, the king-sized master bedroom, the two queen guest rooms, each bedroom having his/her en suite bathrooms.

Unfortunately, Mr. Swinehart’s new Wally 118 cost $33 million, thus leaving Tommy with no money with which to use his expensive luxury motor yacht.

Expectedly, all the letters in Tommy Swinehart can be re-arranged to spell: Smart With Money!

Here Is The Winner Of Our Annual Picture Of The Year Contest

FMO’s winning picture of the year! Semi Truckin’ by Tadd Wray of Sabin MN

West Fargo, ND – Amid mucho buzz and speculation, the winner of the FM Observer’s prestigious Picture Of The Year award was unveiled in the fabulous banquet room at our corporate headquarters.

Mr. Tadd Wray of rural Sabin, MN took home the top honors with his picture entitled Semi Truckin’.

Out of the thousands of pictures submitted to our Picture Of The Year department, this one really seemed to speak to the judges.

Tadd Wray: “I am truly humbled by this glorious win. Is there some sort of prize money that I get for winning?”

If you submitted a picture which did not win, and would like it back, please send us $50 for shipping and handling, along with your mailing information and perhaps a short paragraph about yourself.

Dr. Finance: Should I Buy Some Lottery Tickets For The Mega Jackpot?

When the lottery jackpot gets up to a billion dollars, Dr. Finance says it’s time to go All IN.

Jackpot, Nevada – Dear Dr. Finance: You’ve previously stated that gambling is a tax on the stupid. But would you say it’s OK to buy a lottery ticket when the jackpot gets up over a billion dollars? Thanks, Zephania Winther

Dear Zephania: Buying lottery tickets normally is something I would not recommend. Since the odds are so against you, any sort of gambling is definitely a tax on the stupid.

However, when the jackpots reach ridiculous levels, such as the Mega-Millions lottery game, it then becomes time to go all-in.

At this juncture, I would strongly recommend that you buy as many Mega-Millions lottery tickets as you can comfortably afford.

I myself am using the equity in my home to purchase as many tickets as I can between now and the time of the next drawing.

The chance to win a giant jackpot of $1.6 Billion rarely comes along, so, to answer your question: I would say it’s more than OK to give it a shot because someone has to eventually win it and it might just be you!

To be super proactive, you may want to have the phone numbers of a good accountant and attorney near by.

Contest Winner Eats 81 Tacos In 15 Minutes

How many hard-shell tacos can you eat in 15 minutes?

Moorhead, MN – What do you do when you’re really hungry?

Well, during Moorhead’s recent Taco Eating Contest, a Moorhead man named Tomas Couch set a new record by consuming 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

The previous record set last year by Audie Boelz was an astounding 77 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

Moorhead originally began their annual Taco Eating Contest back in 1970 when the taco was first discovered in Mexico by a Moorhead tour group.

FMO: So, how did you feel after you ate 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes?

Tomas Couch: I probably would’ve felt better if they would’ve been soft-shell tacos!

Ironically, all the letters in Tomas Couch can be re-arranged in 15 minutes to spell: Mucho Tacos!

FMO Announces The 2018 Smartest Kids Contest

How smart is your kid?

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is excitedly proud to announce our 2018 Smartest Kids Contest.

“Think of this as a spelling bee but you’re asked questions instead of spelling words,” says Dr. Thomas Tuttle, who runs the Smartest Kids Contest, and who also won his age division when he was younger.

Questions can be on any topic such as current events, general factoids, members of President Trump’s cabinet, cocktail ingredients, historical facts, who’s married to whom, sports trivia, the value of PI, and much much more.

First place winners in each age group will win a trip to Grand Forks, whilst second place winners will win two trips to Grand Forks, and so on and so forth.

If you would like to participate, simply contact Dr. Thomas Tuttle with all your personal information such as name, birth date, Mother’s maiden name, social security number, bank accounts and credit cards. After that, simply start studying for Fargo’s 2018 Smartest Kids Contest!

One tip: Answers to all the possible contest questions can be found in the Fargo Public Liberry.

Fargo Bocce Ball Tournament To Raise Money For Its Organizers

Who will be Fargo’s Bocce Ball Champ?

Fargo, ND – A city-wide bocce ball tournament will be held as a fund raiser for the personal gain of its organizers.

With an entrance fee of only $50, the tournament could raise approximately $6.5 million if enough people sign up to fill the single-elimination tournament’s giant bracket of 131,072 contestants.

After eight rounds of highly competitive bocce ball, the surviving 512 players will battle it out for another eight rounds, to get down to the final two contestants.

After 17 total rounds of bocce ball games (each to 16 points), a Fargo Bocce Ball Champion will be crowned.

Prizes, if any, have not yet been determined. First prize could possibly be a trip to Grand Forks (no expenses paid). Second prize could possibly be two trips to Grand Forks (no expenses paid), and so on, and so forth.

Fargo Psychic Wins Lottery For Ninth Time

Fargo’s Miss Devine can win the lottery any time she desires.

Fargo, ND Unbeknownst to most hoi polloi, living amongst Fargo’s commonfolk resides One with a “most powerful” gift.

Fargo’s Miss Divine can foretell the future “well enough” to have just won a record nine lottery jackpots.

So as to remain “under the radar”, Miss Divine usually plays the “lesser games” such as: Hot Lotto, 2 by 2, and Lucky For Life.

Last week Miss Divine informed us that she recently won the 2 by 2 game, which is now her ninth lottery win. When we asked Miss Divine “the how and why”, her response in her own words was: “Miss Divine sees things in her crystal ball that allow her to live very comfortably while being able to hand out $100 bills to those in obvious need.”

If you would ever like to discuss “possibilities” for your future finances with Miss Divine, look for her in the Downtown Fargo area. Whilst you seek her out in the alleys and galleys, you will not find her so much as “she will find you”. Remember to tell Miss Divine that you “read about” her on the FM Observer (and use promo-code “MD2-J9” for a 10% “bonus coupon”).

Winning Powerball Lottery Ticket Being Sought In Knoxville Landfill

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One piece of paper worth millions in and amongst millions of pieces of paper.

Knoxville, TN – The lucky person who purchased the winning Powerball ticket worth an estimated $259.8 million believes that she may have accidentally lost the winning ticket in her kitchen garbage bag which is most likely now in the Knoxville community landfill.

On the night of the drawing, Mrs. Ina Pickle noticed that her one Powerball ticket matched all of the Powerball numbers that were reported on the late local evening newscast in her Knoxville area on Wednesday, June 11.

Before going to bed, she had safely put the winning ticket on her kitchen counter over by the trash bin.

Early the next morning, she quickly ran to put out her garbage for the approaching garbage truck workers.

About an hour later after some coffee, she realized that the winning Powerball ticket must have blown into the trash because the kitchen window had been left slightly ajar during the night.

Mrs. Ina Pickle, along with several hundreds of other people from the region, are now reportedly madly searching through all of the garbage in the massive Knoxville landfill for a chance to find that winning unsigned Powerball ticket.

Officials from the Tennessee Lottery say that whoever finds that winning Powerball ticket and brings it to their main offices will have their choice of the full annuity amount or the lump-sum pre-tax amount of $153,000,000.

Where Are They Now: Wheel of Fortune Big Winner Ken Noisewater

Fargo, ND – $25,000. Could that dollar amount change your life? I’m willing to bet it could (even after taxes). Kenneth Noisewater landed a shot at fortune and fame; the type that could only be earned along side big Pat Sajak. Ken went on Wheel of Fortune and hit the big time. Mild-mannered Ken, an accountant by day and a father by night, netted the biggest prize of them all (at the time). He pulled the $25,000 envelope and nailed his bonus round puzzle. Little did Ken know, this would be the beginning of the end.

After owning the bonus round, Ken embraced his family, pocketed his check and went on his way. He was feeling like a star. The trip home was filled with jubilation. The family was buzzing with ideas as to what they should do with the money, but Kenneth had his own plan forming. The money had already begun to change him.

Kenneth watched as Uncle Sam took his share of the coin, then a portion of his debt took some as well. He became angry. Extremely agitated. He wanted his bonus. After all, these were WINNINGS he pocketed, not a government grant! Kenneth went out. He told the Mrs he was headed out for a few minutes to “clear his head”. He actually ended up throat-deep in the biggest alcohol bender of his life.

Noisewater went and had himself a real screamer. Took the car to bar after bar, club after club that night. Got so damn drunk he called his boss and went off. Needless to say, he was fired. Then he called his wife and went off. She hung up on him, confused. Then he called 911 and went off…of a bridge into some very troubled water.

The police said it was a miracle Kenneth survived. The river cushioned the blow, they said. Would you believe it if I told you his wife left him? Well, she didn’t. He left her out of sheer embarrassment. One wretched evening of irresponsibility transformed Kenneth Noisewater into a living legend and a complete nobody in one fell swoop.

These days, Noisewater can be found sucking around downtown with the rest of the street urchins, mumbling incoherently to himself:

“I am a rugged being. The government is too big! Three more Presidents until ruination of society. Smart people will tell ya…money is an object! Where am I? Hello. Hello. Hi. Change??”

Truly a depressing end to an unlikely winner-turned-loser story. Let me be the first to warn you, R S T L N E, 3 more consonants and a vowel can easily spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.