Texting Has Replaced the Voice With Area Youth

March 14th, 2012 | by Jill Burns

Fargo, ND – Earmuffs are ugly and can be expensive. Texting is quicker and cheaper. The youth of this area and probably country have determined that texting has now replaced all form of voice communication.

One area youth said “Texting is the way to go. I can’t stand listening to crap. My ears hurt from all that jibber jabber. I went through two pairs of earmuffs to drown out the crap people want to tell me. I lost the first pair, and the second pair I borrowed to my friend, but he lost those too. That’s fine because I don’t need to use my voice anyways. Hey, I’m just a kid and I can’t afford buying any more earmuffs. I can text all day on the cell phone my parents pay for. Besides, I know I won’t need to talk in the working world. After college I plan to be CEO within five years in my corner office with a panoramic view while I manage people through email. My mom said that her boss who sits right next to her “can’t even get up from his fat ass” and ask her a question. He just emails. My dad’s boss doesn’t hold regular staff meetings anymore. People just make sure their phones are on. The boss sends a mass message and people reply here and there from there. Sometimes these meetings will go on for days. Actually, one time it lasted almost a month. If this is how the world is going I’m excited.”

A second area youth also agreed that talking face to face is a major irritation. “My voice hurts. I have spent so much lunch money at the pop machine trying to get my voice back. Texting is so awesome because I can text my friends all day during class and still whoop it up at basketball games. Without texting I can’t be obnoxious and annoy all the annoying parents. And pretty sure it would not be cool to show up in earmuffs to the basketball games.”

The last area youth I spoke with said that despite the rise in earmuff sales, she will not jump on this fashion bandwagon. “Earmuffs, I don’t think so. I can’t wear those to the beach while I show off my new swimsuit!” She further stated, “My friend called me up last weekend to go shopping. Uh, what was that? Like, doesn’t she realize I don’t even answer my phone calls? She’s not my friend anymore.”

Parents please do not even try and talk to your kids. There is a new app out there that is being downloaded in record numbers. When your child texts, a signal is sent up through the arm to the ear and all voice communication is muted. Be aware that if you talk to your children and they don’t respond, this app might very well be installed on the cell phone.

Footnotes:

*Jibber Jabber refers to all form of human voice communication.

*These interviews were conducted strictly through texts. None of the youths would agree to speak to me on the phone or in person.

*I have received numerous slander lawsuits claiming earmuff sales have hit a slump because I made a comment that earmuffs are ugly. I don’t personally think earmuffs are ugly. I was simply stating the consensus of those interviewed.

 

 


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Jill Burns

The Boss at Whatever
Jill is an animated and crabby person happy to write on the eccentricities of the world. I like pickles, bloody marys, pickles in bloody marys, sunsets, wine, and taste-testing wine.

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