Trucker Breaks Guiness World Record Clogging Toilets In All 50 States

June 20th, 2012 | by Nick

Richmond, VA – Trucker Randy Burton has made history in one of the grossest ways possible. Mr. Burton has plenty of time to think about life while on the road, and recently, he let his crazy thoughts get away from him while on the john. Early on in the spring he pondered to himself, “I’m about to absolutely destroy this toilet here in Alabama. I could probably demolish a toilet in Arkansas tomorrow. If I really dedicate my ass to this, I could decimate a toilet in every state in America!”

Randy, you could not be more correct. So right on, in fact, that the good folks at Guiness took notice and made Randy’s toilet trek worthwhile by awarding him the world record for slaying “50 Johns, 50 States, in 50 Days”. Congratulations Randy, you big nasty bastard.

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Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.