Vikings bench Ponder, replace him with broomstick

December 13th, 2012 | by Nick

4853845532_747e8c0c83_bMinneapolis, MN – There is much rejoicing to be done today as the Minnesota Vikings coaching staff has finally pulled the plug on the Ponder experiment. Head Coach Leslie Frazier:

“Ponder was a guy who we thought could fill the role of ‘game manager’ quite nicely. A guy who could hand the ball off on 1st and 2nd down and if we needed a small handful of yards to convert 3rd down, he could throw a quick out to the tight end. However, we’re not converting 3rd downs and Ponder has thrown for fewer yards than Adrian Peterson has run for in three of our past five games. Enough is enough.”

Coach went on to say that Ponder is “just getting in the way” and that a broomstick would serve as a “sufficient decoy”. The Vikings plan to prop up their decoy against the center, helmet dangling from the broom bristles as the center snaps the ball directly to Adrian Peterson.

Too little too late? This benching comes with only 3 games left to play in the regular season. The Vikings need to basically run the table and get help from other teams in order to make the playoffs. Starting quarterback Broom Stick will wear jersey # 13. Look for him(?) behind center this Sunday against St. Louis.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.