Watch Out For Cleanup Week Curb Kids

April 30th, 2015 | by Nick

baby-with-garbage-pile2Fargo, ND—It’s cleanup week in Fargo! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure–but beware. If you’re trolling the streets for discarded belongings, keep your eyes and ears open for something truly invaluable. Be on the lookout for curb kids.

Deadbeat parents are sneaking unwanted infants into their curb trash. IF YOU SEE AN INFANT ON THE CURB NEXT TO A PILE OF JUNK DO NOT PICK IT UP. By rule, the infant will become yours and you will need to cherish it for all eternity. Inspect the junkpile thoroughly before you take anything–there might be a baby lodged inside one of those dresser drawers.

If you find a curb kid, notify police or social services immediately and they will relocate the infant. Giving away children in a cleanup week junk heap is illegal and will be met with swift justice.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.