WE Fest Cancelled Due To Massive Disease-Carrying Tick Invasion

July 19th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Save Your Spleen in 2014

Save Your Spleen in 2014

Detroit Lakes, MN – The drunkenly popular WE Fest celebration of country music at the Soo Pass Ranch has been cancelled for 2014 due to serious health concerns.

The annual outdoor music festival was scheduled for August 7-8-9 but fans will have to wait until 2015 to see their favorite country music stars, such as Travis Tritt and Brad Paisley.

Minnesota health officials have discovered a massive infestation of ticks carrying a deadly disease which causes an acute inflammation of the spleen.

Dr. Willy Nilly of the CDC: “We have never seen such a large population of dangerous ticks like this before. The lovely meadows and woods surrounding the Soo Pass Ranch near Lake Sallie are literally crawling with ticks. They may have been recently transported here by federal agents bringing illegal aliens up to this region from the Texas border. The strain of spleenitis that these ticks are carrying basically causes an infected person to bleed to death within 48 hours.”

WE Fest organizers have changed this year’s slogan from “Living The Dream in 2014” to “Save Your Spleen in 2014”. They say that “all 2014 tickets will be honored in 2015 for the exact same line-up of country music sensations, such as: Jason’s Aldean and Ashley’s Monroe.”

“If folks do want to getogether this year somewhere besides the infested Soo Pass Ranch, we will have a karaoke contest every day in the parking lot of the Detroit Lakes Walmart, which will be hosted by Scotty McCreery of American Idol fame.”

UPDATE: This post is completely fictitious (not real). WE Fest 2014 has not been cancelled.

Click here for another exciting Dr. Willy Nilly post!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.