Local

Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars

Knife Lake, MN – A young boy named Bruce had just finished drinking some juice when he saw in the air a goose which lately had a tendency to overproduce. So young Bruce decided to try and shoot the goose on the loose. He...

Some Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is very sad to say that we recently lost a friend and one of the Founding Fathers of this website. On Sunday, October 26th, Cody Marthaller lost his long battle with cancer at age 32. Back...

ND Measure 9 To Ban Happy Marriages

Fargo, ND – Due to an avalanche of misleading language, hidden agendas and incompetent proofreaders, North Dakota’s midterm elections will now include a ballot measure that would outlaw all happy marriages. Measure 9...

Fanatical Mathematical Radical Goes On Problematical Sabbatical

Fargo, ND – An overly-zealous Fargo math teacher has been suspended from teaching. Students in Mr. Cal Cuelator’s third grade class had been complaining of having a steady heavy load of math homework assignments....

Downtown Project Seeks To Turn Street Vomit Into Barf Art

Fargo, ND – The growing problem of vomit in the streets of downtown Fargo due to late-night binge drinkers has had city leaders’ stomachs churning for some time. However, a local group of forward-thinkers believe they...

Downtown Business Owners Looking to Curb Curb-Vomit

The prevalence of vomit on city sidewalks has locals concerned. Fargo, ND—In case you haven’t been downtown lately, or have been downtown but have not yet encountered a lurching pile of partially-digested filth on the...

Fargo Debates Downtown Vomit

Fargo, ND – City officials in Fargo are urgently wondering if you think more should be done about vomit on the streets in downtown Fargo. While some people here are understandably anti-vomitus for the struggling downtown...

Child And His Parent Fail To Sell Your Cheap Ass A Magazine Subscription

Fargo, ND—For the third consecutive year, Tommy and his father Craig have stopped by your house unannounced to try and sell you some junk publication you’ll never read. And for the third consecutive year, your cheap ass...

Gandalf Costume Sales Skyrocket As Area Dorks Prepare For Halloween

Fargo, ND – Local costume stores are reporting record sales for Halloween this year. Top sellers include perennial favorites such as Spiderman, Snow White, and Satan, along with the usual Obama masks and kitten ears....

Changing and Falling Leaves Concern EPA

Environmental Officer Carl Carlson watched in horror as hundreds of leaves in Munsinger Gardens in St. Cloud seemingly jumped from their branches and floated silently to the ground. Carlson is among many Environmental...