National

Boeing 787 Is (Almost) A Dream Machine

Except for a few minor glitches, the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner could be the most ultra-modern and problem-free passenger airplane ever assembled by union hands. The limited list of petty problems that have popped up so far...

New device streamlines ignoring calls and texts

Las Vegas, NV – One of the big reveals at last week’s Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas was a revolutionary new smartphone device. The device is considered an application as it works in conjunction with the iPhone to...

Lunatics Banned From Washington DC

Washington, DC – Back in December of 2012, Congress temporarily set aside its gridlock in an unusual bipartisan effort to ban the word ‘lunatic’ from all federal legislation. The new law was designed to remove...

Sam Houston Having Nightmares About Bison

Huntsville, TX – The Sam Houston BearKat football players are not sleeping well these days. After their nationally televised 39-13 humiliation by the North Dakota State University Bison, many of their squad members are...

Tom Cruise Certain Scientology Not A Hoax

Hollywood, CA – World famous movie star and maverick is adamant that Scientology is not a hoax. Our affiliate Hollywood reporter, Tojo Saxton, has some interesting new information about all this. FMO: Tojo, what’s...

Cat Receiving Monthly Social Security Checks

Missoula, MT – Cat owner was “surprised as hell” when her young cat started receiving a monthly social security check. What started out as an apparent system glitch has compounded itself into some nice...

Mitt Romney Doing “Just Fine” After Losing Election

San Diego, CA – The 2012 Presidential election lived up to the hype as one of the more polarizing elections in political history. The ups and downs of debating, campaigning, gaffing, 47%-ing, and polling helped create some...

Instagram Changes Terms Of Service. Users Threaten To Stop Taking Shitty Pictures.

Fargo, ND – On Monday, Instagram, the popular photo app and website, updated its terms of service.  This left its large user base unhappy and threatening to stop taking shitty pictures and leaving the app and website all...

Morgan Freeman dies, makes statement about Newtown shooting

Los Angeles, CA – Morgan Freeman has been a busy man lately. In between dying multiple times in the past year on Twitter (only to come back to life again and again) and being most certainly, 100% dead on Facebook, the...

Christmas Ballsack Ornament

London – A London ad agency and orchid, a testicular cancer organization, have teamed up to to offer “Bauballs.” You may check out their website here. Decorate your tree with some festive bravado and help a good...