National

NASA Rocket Launch Bringing Two Of Every Species To The Moon

Moonshine, Illinois – NASA has unveiled its new Noah’s Rocket designed to bring two of every animal species to the moon in a last-ditch effort to save the Animal Kingdom from an imminent world-wide cataclysm. N.O.A.H....

Brian Williams’ Entire Identity Now Being Questioned

Nyork, NY – With many beginning to question the factual authenticity of a number of news stories reported by the popular NBC news anchor, some are now even looking into if his name is actually Brian Williams. Independent...

Drug Companies To Give Bill Cosby Lifetime Achievement Award

Shelburne, MA – Drug Companies are planning on giving funny man Bill Cosby a lifetime achievement award. “Never has one person used so many drugs on so many others over such a long period of time,” says Rolf...

Young Pigs Express Concern Upon Learning Where Bacon Comes From

Swineford, Pennsylvania – The Pork Industry Group (PIG) says that pigs all across this great nation are planning protest marches to raise awareness for violence against pigs. After seeing a government video depicting where...

Obama To Send All Republicans Into Outer Space

Washington, DC – With his growing unconstitutional powers, President Obama is planning on executing another of his executive memos. This time he is plotting to ask all top Republican leaders to take a “tour” of...

Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have

Washington, DC – With the help of the CDC (Centre for Disease Control), Big Government will soon be organizing communities into groups of people based on what diseases we have. Since Big Government already has access to all...

NASA Reducing Its Goal To Just Being Able To Successfully Launch A Rocket

Wallops Island, VA – Despite an apparent ‘glitch’ during take-off, NASA is saying that everything is under control and that no one should have any reason for concern. Even though many on-lookers witnessed an...

Clever ‘Calibration Errors’ Ensure Democrat Victories In Every Political Race

Washington, DC – Even if no Democrats show up to vote in the upcoming state and national elections, Republicans better be ready to lose each and every political race in the country. Democrat community organizers have...

Lumberjack Union Working With CDC To Stop Treebola

Treetop, North Carolina – Lumberjacks all across the country are wasting no time in their frantic effort to chop down any and all trees suspected of having the dangerous Treebola Virus. According to the Center for Disease...

White House Ebola Response Team Practicing Their Craft

Washington, DC – Luckily for the American people, the White House Ebola Response Team (WHERT) is constantly practicing to improve their game. Top key players of WHERT, including the newly named Ebola Czarina, Dr. Pam Demic,...