Dr. Finance: What To Do With Too Much Money

May 18th, 2015 | by Johnnny
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Never fear, Dr. Finance is here!

Money Creek, Illinois – Dr. Finance is back with another excellent reader-submitted question:

Dear Dr. Finance: My husband and I feel like we have way too much money.

What should we do to make us feel better about ourselves?

Sincerely, Mimi Gladstone

Dear Mimi, from Money Creek:

Thank you for your great question.

This is one I get a lot because of our robust economy.

Mimi, here are 20 recommendations for you and your husband if you feel you have too much money:

1. When dining out, increase your tippage (for example: on a meal that costs $50, tip $500).
2. Get 1,000 Randy Moss autographs at $84 per autograph.
3. Pay all your local TV weather forecasters to wear bright green clothing during their weather reports.
4. Start your very own NASCAR team.
5. Announce free drinks all night at a biker bar and secretly videotape the whole thing for YouTube.
6. Get addicted to eating White Truffles.
7. Buy and give a Pembroke Welsh Corgi to every person who lives near people you don’t like.
8. Sponsor nation-wide treasure hunts and give clues during paid infomercials.
9. Build your own Space Station as a nice little get-away.
10. Join multiple churches just before they begin their annual Stewardship Drives.
11. Invest in Amtrak or the United States Postal Service.
12. Call the IRS and tell them the income on your last 3 years of tax filings was grossly undereported.
13. Declare your candidancy for President of the United States and run an aggressive campaign.
14. Start your own bank and provide high-risk loans.
15. Help pay off part of the US National Debt which is over $18 Trillion.
16. Consider becoming part owner of the Dallas Cowboys.
17. Over your town, do a helicopter fly-over drop of $100 bills every weekend, like The Joker did in Batman.
18. Go shopping at your local mall and ask the Mall Manager how much for the whole place.
19. Hire Beyoncé to sing at your next birthday parties.
20. Put your money into a Living Trust and name me as the beneficiary.

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)