In Case You’re Not Sure, Take The FMO Sanity Test

July 28th, 2015 | by Johnnny
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The crazy thing is is that if you are insane, you probably won’t know it, because you probably won’t know if you are insane, or not.

West Fargo, ND – During the lazy hazy crazy days of summer, we here at the FMObserver Headquarters decided to provide a much-needed free community service by rolling out the next installment of our scientifically designed Sanity Test.

It is scientifically designed to determine whether or not you are sane, or not.

If the test does in fact determine that you are not sane, do not panic. The test can be taken over and over until you somehow are determined to not be insane.

1. Simply answer each of the following carefully crafted questions honestly.
2. Email us all of your responses.
3. A real doctor on our staff will contact you and tell you if you’re sane or insane.

FMObserver Sanity Test:

A. Do you own your own straight jacket?
B. Do dogs bark at you for no apparent reason?
C. Do you experience road rage on a regular basis?
D. Do people look at you and think “What the fuck?”
E. Have you recently punched holes in any drywall?
F. After you speak, do others look totally confused?
G. Do you hear voices telling you to do “bad things”?
H. Did you believe that WE Fest 2014 had been cancelled?
I. Do you believe that WE Fest 2015 has not been cancelled?
J. Are there any restraining orders currently against you?
K. Do you often find yourself talking to people on the TV?
L. Do birds land on you while sitting outdoors or indoors?
M. Is Batman real and is he perched on your porch right now?
N. Has a panic attack ever turned into a full-blown meltdown?
O. Are you excluded from your family reunions and getogethers?
P. Do you wear an aluminum foil hat every time you leave home?
Q. Does it seems like Federal Agents are following you everywhere?
R. Do you often misplace the keys to your intergalactic party bus?
S. Do you solely listen to and sing along with County Western music?
T. Do you believe Donald Trump would make a good Commander-In-Chief?
U. Does uncontrollable laugher often turn into uncontrollable crying?
V. Do simple things (like time and money) no longer make sense to you?
W. Are you worried that at any moment you may be swallowed up by quicksand?
X. Are you currently stalking any people who would consider you a stranger?
Y. Have you travelled at a subsonic speed during the last hour of hypersleep?
Z. Have you prepared your surroundings for impending world domination from Moon Man?

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either or or :o)