Questions To Ask Before Joining A Religion Part II

June 24th, 2014 | by Bill Burns


Questions To Ask Before Joining A Religion

If you haven’t read Part I, then you should because it is very educational.  Below are more questions everyone should consider asking before joining a religion.


Are there mermaids?

Will peppers be readily available in the afterlife?

And television?  Free access?  Wifi?

During congregation, must I wash my hands after the bathroom?

If I choose to follow, how long do I have to follow for?

If there is a paradise, who tends the garden?

Is there any stoning?  Stoning sounds fun.  I mean awful.  It’s just awful.

What is considered ‘sex’?

Can I dress like a ninja?  All day?

Can I participate in a sacrificial killing at least once per day?

Are there any kind of spells or such things?

Are there any kind of special dances I must do?

Can I use donation money for personal use?

Will animal cookies still exist after I die?


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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.