Tag Archives: attendees

UND Offering Classes On How To Wake Up And Get Out Of Bed

UND’s new WAKE UP & GET UP program is like “trying to push a rope”.

Grand Forks, ND – The University of North Dakota has decided to offer special classes for its students on how to literally wake up and physically get out of bed.

After noticing that a majority of students were not attending early morning classes, school officials came up with the novel idea of teaching how to effectively wake up and get up especially during the hibernatory months of winter.

Ms. Camari Greer who is Acting Vice Chancellor of the Student Affairs Relations Commission tells us that sleeping in during classes is “a threat to our democracy” and “must be properly addressed in no uncertain terms”.

We asked some random students some random questions and got some very random answers:

Thiago Gawkroger who is supposedly studying Social Calculus admits to missing at least a functional derivative of his classes because “they’re just too darn early in the morning! To make it to my 9:50 class, I’d have to wake up by nine o’clock!”

Valentina Jaxon who’s planning on majoring in Art History and Art Garfunkel says that since the very first class which she did attend (but fell asleep in), she has not made it to any of the other lectures which start at 8:20 AM.

Questions for follow-up small-group discussions:
1. What do you think about this somnolent situation?
2. How do you feel about teaching classes to wake up?
3. What would you do if you were the Acting Vice Chancellor?
4. If you only had one year to live, what would you do?
5. What advice would you give yourself three years ago?
6. Is there something important you need to tell your family?
7. What’s stopping you from reaching your full potential?
8. What do you see yourself doing in 80 years?
9. What do you need to eat less of and why?
10. What are your inner voices telling you to do right now?

Fargo To Host 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference

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Exciting speakers energize attendees at the Annual National Taxicology Conference!

Fargo, ND – Fargo will soon be home to the 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference.

Taxicologists from all across the country will descend upon Fargo to learn the latest about everything in the world of Taxicology!

As you know, Taxicology is the study of the adverse effects that occur in living humanoids due to overly-burdensome taxation.

The build-up of too much taxation from every level of government plus all the various sales taxes can almost act like a poison on a person’s financial well-being.

Conference attendees will learn about: Taxic Shock Syndrome, Botax, how to help clients go through Detax, and various ways to deal with those nasty Taxic Headaches.

Taxicologists are also quite well-known for enjoying some serious intaxicating conversations during their Happy Hour “Caring & Sharing” sessions, which are often followed by making a splash in the pool.