Tag Archives: books

Today Is The Last Day Of The Beginning Of Your Life

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Photo by Scott Miles, Photo Ambassador, Four Seasons Resort Maui

Here is your Inspirational Message for today from FM Observer’s very own online-ordained Pastor Peter Paul:

Dear Friends: Today, as the sun sets on the horizon, this chapter of your life will be over. Everything up until this point has hopefully prepared you for what lies around the corner.

Tomorrow will begin a new chapter of your life. But first, you might want to look back at: where you’ve been, where you’re at now, what you stand for, who’s standing next to you, and where are all of your belongings?

At this point, if you have not yet reached your full potential, time is starting to run out for you to find your niche in this world. As a famous thespian once said: “You better get your act together before the curtains fall!”

Just remember: You are the author of your autobiography. How do you want your next chapter to start? How do you want the whole thing to end? Who do you want in your bibliography? Where did you put your keys?

Final closing thought: One of your recent fortune cookies is true; you just need to figure out which one.

West Fargo Library Being Closed For Displaying Books

Books such as these were blatantly on public display within the confines of the West Fargo Library!

West Fargo, ND – The West Fargo Library was recently notified that the facility will sadly be shut down at the end of the month for having displayed books within the library.

The Federal Library Administration Board (FLAB) has made it perfectly clear that the displaying of books in public libraries will no longer be tolerated as it might be found to be offensive to some non-bibliophiles.

Mrs. Foglia Strawberry who has been acting executive director of the West Fargo Library since 1978 is asking that anyone who currently has a book checked out from the West Fargo Library please kindly return their book(s) or simply keep them forever since the library is being closed.

What will the West Fargo Library be used for now that it is being shut down? The FM Observer has learned that the former library space will be utilized for Transgender Support Group meetings during the day and Transexual Studies during the evenings.

Ironically, all the letters in Foglia Strawberry can magically be rearranged to spell: West Fargo Library!

Local Youth Has Read Every Book In The Fargo Public Library

Sopan Talleen waits for the Fargo Public Library to get some new books for him to read.

Fargo, ND – A young speed reader who challenged himself to read every book in the Fargo Public Library just announced that he has accomplished his goal.

Sopan Talleen is his name and reading a lot of books is his game.

Sopan is a twelve year old Mensa student who was discovered to be a natural speed reader at a very young age.

His parents recall that at the ripe age of four, Sopan precociously read the entire Hobbit and Lord of the Rings four-book box set in one week and with amazing comprehension.

Without ever taking any speed reading instruction, young Sopan reads an estimated 30,000 words per minute.

Now all young Sopan Talleen says he needs to do is simply “read all the new books that regularly enter the library which should keep me totally up-to-date on all the latest information that I need to know”.

Twelve New Words Being Added To FMO’s Dictionary

The FMO Dictionary keeps growing just like our national debt.

The FMO Dictionary keeps growing just like our national debt.

West Fargo, ND – As you know, at the end of each year we look back and decide what words should be added to our FMO Lexicon.

Since its first publication back in 1879, our dictionary has grown into quite a load especially if being carried to skool in a backpack.

So, without any further ado, here are the new entries being added to the FMO Lexicon for 2016:

1. FM Observer + veranda = FM observeranda… The place at our corporate headquarters from whence we look down upon the entire Fargo-Moorhead area and society in general.

2. FM Observer + verb = FM observerb… These are action words that help keep us motivated and moving forward to bring you the latest in true fake news. Some of our posts may be fake but at least they’re true fake.

3. FM Observer + verbal = FM observerbal… This is the type of communication that we yell at other drivers when they’re testing our inclination for road rage.

4. FM Observer + verbose = FM observerbose… This is when we get too many words stuck in our mouth at once when trying to express a complicated thought like Obamacare.

5. FM Observer + verdict = FM observerdict… This is what the judge hands down which decides whether we go home or get to stay for free at the county’s hotel for wayward citizens.

6. FM Observer + verge = FM observerge… This is when we are on the cusp of a major announcement such as: We just once again won the best website on the internet award for the third time in a row!

7. FM Observer + verify = FM observerify… This is what we do with all facts gathered prior to deciding whether or not to write a truly fake news story.

8. FM Observer + vermin = FM observermin… Is what we call problematic animals to society. Also, it was the original name for what Hillary recently referred to as a basket of deplorables.

9.FM Observer + versatile = FM observersatile… This is how we describe ourselves when we have to wear many hats in order to not be recognized by those who may be looking for us in a crowd.

The more words we add, the more colorful it gets.

The more words we add, the more colorful it gets.

10. FM Observer + verse = FM observerse… This is the style that we sometimes try to write in to make it sound like we graduated from college with honors.

11. FM Observer + vertebrate = FM observertebrate… This is something that (or someone who) has a backbone in order to stand tall during times of distress such as an IRS audit.

12. FM Observer + vertical = FM observertical… This is the direction the rocket carrying our FMO satellite into space will hopefully go so that worldwide readers can easily follow what’s truly happening on the FM Observer.

Stephen King To Read Scary Books To Children At Fargo Liberry

Rather than learning how not to fear one ought rather learn what to fear.

“Rather than learning how not to fear, one ought rather learn what to fear.”

Fargo, ND – As a public service announcement, consider yourself now informed that author Stephen King will be reading scary books to children every day all next month at the Fargo Public Liberry. Times for the sessions will be quite random just to keep listeners off balance and on their toes.

Author King recently unveiled a new line of scary books called The Fear Factory written just for children from ages 6 to 666.

Some have called Stephen King “the king of phobia creators” but he sees it a bit differently. “My books simply magnify pre-existing phobias. Rather than running from or even trying to face your fears, one should learn what to fear and how to survive it.”

Here are some of the wonderful book titlesĀ from Stephen King’s new Fear Factory that he will be reading to children at the Fargo Public Liberry:

Who Is Under My Bed?
Axe Me A Question
Where Is Daddy Going?
The Doorbell Sounds Weird
Why Is The Floor All Red?
Please Let Me Out Now
What’s In The Basement?
Grandpa Looks Blue
What’s For Supper?