Tag Archives: closing

West Fargo Library Being Closed For Displaying Books

Books such as these were blatantly on public display within the confines of the West Fargo Library!

West Fargo, ND – The West Fargo Library was recently notified that the facility will sadly be shut down at the end of the month for having displayed books within the library.

The Federal Library Administration Board (FLAB) has made it perfectly clear that the displaying of books in public libraries will no longer be tolerated as it might be found to be offensive to some non-bibliophiles.

Mrs. Foglia Strawberry who has been acting executive director of the West Fargo Library since 1978 is asking that anyone who currently has a book checked out from the West Fargo Library please kindly return their book(s) or simply keep them forever since the library is being closed.

What will the West Fargo Library be used for now that it is being shut down? The FM Observer has learned that the former library space will be utilized for Transgender Support Group meetings during the day and Transexual Studies during the evenings.

Ironically, all the letters in Foglia Strawberry can magically be rearranged to spell: West Fargo Library!

Fargo Landfill To Be Permanently Closed

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Local trash heap becomes treasure trove of valuable ancient artifacts.

Fargo, ND – The Fargo Landfill is being shut down – closed for the foreseeable future. It is now officially going to be considered a historical site due to some recent important findings.

An undocumented landfill worker inadvertently discovered some unusual looking arrowheads while working the dump. These arrowheads have turned out to be quite significant, to say the least.

Renowned British archaeologists Dale and Connie Rosenkrantz say these arrowheads are now the oldest ones ever discovered on this planet.

“These arrowheads are older than the ancient bone arrowheads found in the Sibudu Cave down in South Africa!”, Dale Rosenkrantz excitedly explained to us, while taking a nip of whiskey to calm his nerves. “The Sibudu relics were carbon-dated to be about 77,000 years old. These newly discovered ones in the Fargo Landfill are even older than that!”

All this good news for archaeologists is bad news for Fargo City officials who must now try to quickly come up with a new location for all future garbage dumping.

Possible alternative locations will be discussed at the next City Commission meetings. “All options are on the table”, confided an anonymous high-ranking city official. “North of North Fargo, South of South Fargo, the Osgood area, these are all being looked at as viable options. We might even have to haul our garbage over to Moorhead, since they have a lot of unused space.”