Tag Archives: dating

FOX finishes production on zany “Bachelor”-themed reality show


Los Angeles, CA—FOX Broadcasting Company has officially declared it’s ready to compete for a share of the desperate female viewer demographic. Executives noted they have completed filming for a sensational new show titled, The Singleton.

In a press release this morning, FOX representatives indicated they’ve wrapped the first 5 seasons of their new Bachelor-themed reality dating program. Why did they secretly knock down five seasons at once, you might ask? Read for yourself:

The Singleton – A scintillating new dating reality show is coming to FOX. The Singleton will feature a single male alongside 12 would-be mates vying for his love. But there’s a catch: Six of the contestants are women and the other six are—unbeknownst to the male—post-op transvestites! Who will our singleton pick? Will he pick a woman? Or will he pick a wo-MAN?! It’s The Mole meets The Bachelor, coming to FOX this fall! Check your local listings.”

The show’s narrative will provide the viewer with knowledge of who is who, so thankfully we won’t be left in the dark. How exciting! Finally a dating reality show worth watching; one in which the male could end up with a cleverly-disguised RuPaul. This show is poised to teach us a great deal about what personality means to overall sexual attraction.

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Hitch-a-Bitch Doggy Dating Service to Open In Fargo



Fargo, ND—Pet owners often wonder: does my dog get lonely sitting home by itself while i’m away? The answer is most certainly yes. Rover is scared, anxious and above all, lonely when you’re not there. But he doesn’t have to be. Get Spot laid! You, the dog’s owner, can now play the role of Pooch Pimp with the help of Fargo’s new doggy dating service, Hitch-a-Bitch!

Hitch-a-Bitch CEO Johnnny Moores invented his company after he got sick of his dog constantly humping his leg. He thought to himself, “I need to get you a woman, Spike” and thus, Hitch-a-Bitch was born.

Hitch-a-Bitch’s patented dating metrics will match your dog to a canine with similar interests/hobbies. Does your dog like to chew any damn thing it can fit its mouth around? HAB will pair your dog up with a fellow chewer. Does your dog eat rocks? HAB will line Rex up with a fur-covered rock-gobbler with whom he can lick genitals!

Turn ons: walks, toys. Turn offs: mailman, vacuum cleaner

Turn ons: walks, toys.
Turn offs: mailman, vacuum cleaner

As an added bonus, HAB will teach you basic sexualizing commands aimed at getting your dog better acquainted with its inner lover. HAB will help train your dog to hump on command. They can also train your dog to hug and and kiss other dogs at the snap of a finger.

Just fill out the hitch-a-bitch.com online questionnaire. Then, you and your mutt will be invited to the HAB doggie playpen to meet that special someone. Your pup is already well on its way to capturing canine companionship.

What could be more relaxing for your dog than a romp in the park with its one and only somebody? Rover and Daisy will soon be lovers. Your dog has a soulmate. Help him find it with Hitch-a-Bitch.