Tag Archives: disorderly conduct

Unsportsmanlike Conduct Now A Federal Crime

Not respecting the flag and the national anthem now considered to be Unsportsmanlike Conduct.

Anthem, AZ – A new federal executive order that just took effect when it was signed by President Trump now considers any form of not respecting the American Flag and the National Anthem prior to any sort of competition to be Unsportsmanlike Conduct resulting in immediate ejection from the game.

This not only applies to NFL football games but also to every game in every sport and at all levels of competition including kindergarten.

What if every player except for one disrespects the National Anthem? Then only that one remaining player gets to compete in that particular competition. If an entire team takes a knee or does not show up for the National Anthem, they lose by default.

What if non-players such as parents in the crowd participate in the protest? They too shall be escorted to the exit and sent home without their popcorn.


Jesus Arrested For Disorderly Conduct. Caught Mowing Lawn In Loin Cloth.

Fergus Falls, MN – Jesus who currently is parading around as a 43 year-old named Matthew Swanson, was arrested for disorderly conductfergus_falls_loin_cloth_Matthew_Swanson Wednesday afternoon while mowing the lawn in a loin cloth.  It is believed that the Jesus part of Jesus got the better of him and he slipped out of disguise for a brief moment which led to the loin cloth mowing incident.

Neighbors reported seeing a man resembling Jesus, mowing his lawn with his balls swinging about in the wind.  Once police arrived, Jesus just casually continued to mow the lawn with balls in full swinging motion yelling obscenities towards the police.  Jesus apparently dislikes the police as much as us humans.  He just wouldn’t stop which led to the arrest.