March 18th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – What was to be a celebratory reminder to everyone to not panic during a Global Pandemic has been cancelled due to lack of toilet paper. Panicfest organizers made the tough decision to cancel the first annual...
March 5th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – A Moorhead man who has stockpiled literally thousands of the much-demanded N95 facial masks is now selling them for $100 each. Mark Rhoades says that as a favor to the community, he is graciously willing to...
January 24th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant. Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with...
June 17th, 2019 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – City authorities who are not wanting to cause a panic, are trying to stay calm whilst warning the community that a very rare pair of Velociraptors has been seen walking around within city limits. Dr. Sarlo...
February 26th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Fargone, ND – As if Fargo didn’t already have enough problems to deal with (such as beavers, flooding, and pinochle), now city leaders can add an unexpected and unwanted outbreak of Ekbom’s Syndrome to its...
October 3rd, 2018 | by
Johnnny Yourtown, America – If you’re wondering what to do immediately after receiving a Presidential Alert on your smartphone from the National Wireless Emergency Alert System, simply follow these simple steps which were...
February 9th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Bismarck, ND – Even though it did seem a bit odd at the time, a Tsunami Warning was issued for the entire state of North Dakota. Without thinking, many folks in North Dakota did have a panicky knee-jerk reaction to the...
April 18th, 2015 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – City officials are trying to not start a panic while announcing that a large comet may hit downtown Fargo sometime next year. The comet is named X-51 and is believed to be from the Taurus constellation....