Tag Archives: executive action

Obama Pens Exec Order Forcing All States To Raise Min Wage To $30/Hour By 2040

I can do whatever I want because I have all these pens.

I can do whatever I want because I am President and I have all these pens.

Washington, DC – Not to be outdone by Governor Jerry Brown in California, President Obama just signed into law via another Executive Order, a new law which mandates that all 57 states increase their minimum wage to $30 per hour by the year 2040.

If that seems like a big increase, the President defends it by pointing out that it’s less than a dollar per year: “It comes out to only 83.3 cents per year, aaaand, I would bet that most people have 83 cents underneath their couch cushions”, says Obama.

But what about the issue of Big Government dictating yet another unfunded mandate to the private sector which in reality will cause many businesses to cut staff or even close their doors permanently?

To that, the President retorts: “Big Government is always willing to help. In this case, we can provide another bail-out program to assist struggling businesses, or with the stroke of my pens, I can sign another Executive Order which will disallow businesses to cut staff aaaand permanently close their doors.”

Wedding Tax Obama Administration’s Next Executive Action

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New 10% Wedding Tax retroactive back to June 2012

Washington, DC – With the busy wedding season almost here and the government running out of new ways to tax the American public, the White House has announced a new executive action to be effective immediately.

A 10% wedding tax will be imposed on the total cost of all weddings.

Newly-married couples will need to provide a detailed itemized listing of all wedding expenses on a new IRS tax form along with notarized copies of all receipts. Failure to do so may result in jail time.

This new wedding tax shall be retroactive back to June 1, 2012.

Illegal aliens and same-sex marriages will temporarily be exempted from the wedding tax due to the upcoming presidential election.

Other possible future executive actions might include a honeymoon tax and a divorce tax depending on whether or not the government decides it needs to waste more of your hard-earned money.