Tag Archives: food

West Fargo’s Three Lions Pub: The History Of Its Name

The Three Lions Pub is now back to its original name thanks to a dentist from Minneapolis.

West Fargo, ND – One of the finest pubs in the region is conveniently located on 13th Avenue in eastern West Fargo.

Its name is the Three Lions Pub which has become the den where many local lions like to roar, hang out, drink beer, and consume proper English food.

Regarding their unique name:

It began as Three Lions Pub until a dentist from Minneapolis shot one of the lions, so it was then renamed the Two Lions Pub.

Happily, the two remaining lions had three cubs, and the pub was then renamed the Five Lions Pub.

Sadly, after two of the grown cubs were shot by the same dentist from Minneapolis, it once again reverted back to its original name: Three Lions Pub.

Sponge Pudding Shortage Threatens Some Local Family Traditions

Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding is a Christmas tradition for many Fargo families.

Fargo, ND – If you’re having a hard time trying to find some Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding for Christmas, you are not alone.

Many families in the Fargo area share the same holiday tradition of eating Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding on Christmas Eve.

Anastasia Fritzi’s family has had the Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding for five generations, going all the way back to their motherland of Prussia.

“What the hell are we going to do if we can’t find any Spotted Dick before Christmas?” she asks, as her family looks like they’re about to cry and freak out simultaneously.

We have learned that a special Sponge Pudding Support Group is forming to help families just like the freaking Fritzis.

In the meantime, Sponge Pudding grief counselors are encouraging their clients to possibly start to consider a new Christmas tradition, such as: making eggnog milkshakes, have a talent show, go pajama caroling, adopt-a-pet, hiding of presents, volunteering at a soup kitchen, snow fort building, or just an old-fashioned family food fight!

25 Eating Tips By FMObserver Senior Staff Dietitian Angie Pitts

Eating is all about choices. The more choices you make, the more you get to eat. –Angie Pitts

Since eating is such a universal activity, and Eating Well has now become so hip and trendy, we here at the FM Observer decided to proactively hire our own Senior Staff Dietitian to provide free, important, and helpful advice to all of our readers (and also to those who cannot read).

Professional Dietitian Angie Pitts (no relation to Brad Pitts) has compiled the following excellent list of Eating Tips for the 21st Century.

Angie Pitts in her own words: I would like to thank the FM Observer for 1. bringing me on board so that I can reach millions of people who eat on a daily basis, and 2. putting their trust in me that I can provide the latest cutting-edge advice that both you and your family deserve.

25 Great Eating Tips (by Angie Pitts)

Eat while you’re working out.
Never eat on an empty stomach.
Food always goes into the mouth.
Never eat more than you can lift.
When in doubt, poke it with a fork.
Always download before you upload.
Eat more fish than your spousemate.
Cut down on anything that’s saturated.
Have a glass of wine when you’re nervous.
Always carry an extra Snickers bar with you.
Eat vegetables because you are what you eat.
Never eat between snacks, unless it’s a meal.
Remember to swallow to prevent oral dysphagia.
Crown your Chicken ala King with a steak medallion.
To aid with digestion, purée your meals in a blender.
Go for a short jog following each of your main meals.
Eat slowly unless being rushed by a corrections officer.
Do not sit upside down during meals (and no head stands).
For fluffy scrambled eggs, beat them well like you’re Ray Rice.
Avoid talking in full sentences while eating (short phrases only).
Eat as much chicken fried steak (with the white gravy) as possible.
To thicken foods, add potato flakes. If too thick, add beef bouillon.
Eat at a variety of fast food restaurants to ensure a well-balanced diet.
Chew each bite of food at least 40 times unless you’re in an eating contest.
Only eat half of what’s on your plate (freeze the rest for a midnight snack).

Ironically, “Angie Pitts” can be rearranged into: Eating Tips!

Exceedingly Mediocre Restaurant Tip Goes Viral

applebeesCoon Rapids, Minn. — Applebee’s waitress Nicole MaHobbes’s Tuesday night shift ended in misery after she received a tip so extremely average that it could only be explained as “an obvious insult.”

The $6.17 left on a $35.26 check, a tip of exactly %17.5, left MaHobbes infuriated and confused.

“I just don’t understand it,” MaHobbes said. “I gave grade-A service according to the Applebee’s handbook and I get left with this. I ususally get fifteen percent from total jerks and twenty percent from nice folks, but seventeen percent — that’s just cruel. How am I supposed to judge my customers based on that?”

Tipping has been a hot topic lately as servers continue to post pictures of their tips on social media. Some enjoy exceedingly generous tips while others are left with goose-eggs, but very few are left with the empty feeling MaHobbes experienced.

“People don’t understand that servers rely on tips that people leave us,” she said. “If you add six dollars from that tip to the seven that I’m making per hour, that’s only thirteen dollars an hour. How can I live off that? Plus I have other tables to worry about. People just don’t account for the stress of having so many tips to calculate in a day.”

Floor manager Gary Gubiak was alerted of the insulting gratuity shortly after it was left, and was able to track down the couple that left it.

“The customers, who shall remain unnamed, claim that they always leave exactly seventeen point five percent,” he said. “The Johnson’s told me that they feel seventeen point five is highest amount they feel comfortable with and they carry a calculator to leave the exact amount. I didn’t buy Rick and Diana’s charade, but instinctively gave them a free dessert to take home and two ten dollar gift cards to ensure a future visit.”

The Johnson’s wish to remain anonymous, but agreed to comment on their visit to Applebee’s.

“Diana and I thought the service and the food was good, but not outstanding,” Rick Gerald Johnson of 5689 Roark Avenue, Coon Rapids, MN said. “We had decent food at a decent price, so we left a decent tip. We didn’t mean to leave any emotions with our six dollars and seventeen cents.”

The incident sparked by unknown customers Rick and Diana Johnson, parents of Josh, Paula and Natalie Johnson who graduated from Coon Rapids High School, sparked fury from the service industry workers across the country.

“I don’t know who these ‘Johnson’s that attend Mount Calvary Luther Church every Sunday at eight o’clock’ are, but their actions will not go unnoticed” Nashville Applebee’s server Tom Babcock said. “You do the math America. Servers only get seven dollars an hour. Now add horrible tips like six dollars, times three tables and hour, and we can only add eighteen dollars to our wage per hour. Who can live off of twenty five dollars an hour? I have a cat to feed!”

On the other hand, the AARP claims that senior citizens are living off a fixed income and should diligently watch their monthly spending.

“I wish senior citizens could make twenty five dollars an hour,” AARP spokesmen Arty Betker said. “We live off an average of eight dollars an hour and now we get criticized for leaving a six dollar tip? That’s…. We gotta stop these damn kids from skateboarding on the sidewalk!”


Apple iDine Designs Leaked

appleCupertino, CA — As excitement builds for the release of the iPhone 6, Apple software designer John Feltzbar accidentally released plans for the iDine collection scheduled to go on sale next summer.

iDine will consist of three revolutionary new products that will surely change the way the world eats in coming years: the iPlate, iCup and iChair. No longer will iDine users rely on their own discretion before over-eating or drinking. The technology monitors the temperature and exact amount of food and drink consumed by the user, and can even identify what the user is eating.

Apple secretly began testing in March, 2013, but those lucky enough to test the new products were so impressed that they couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

“It was amazing,” guinea pig Marc Ulrik said. “I sat in the chair and it told me exactly how much I weighed — I mean, who thinks of this stuff. Then, after devouring a plate of meatballs, the iPlate told me that I just ate too much meatballs and my blood pressure was probably going to rise. This is life saving stuff, man.”

While the iDine is meant to help Americans track their eating habits and realize how insanely much they over-eat, Apple’s testing sessions showed that users actually ate and drank more when using iDine.

“It was like playing Angry Birds when it first came out,” lab rat Lindsey Hiltin said. “Once I started eating off the iPlate and drinking out of the iCup I just couldn’t stop, it was addicting.”

The only useful information Apple gained from testing was from a 6-year-old boy who said “iCup” really means “I see you pee.” Even after becoming aware of this phenomenon Apple kept the name anyway, with the confidence that no one would catch on.

Following the release of the iCup designs, Coors Brewing Company filed a lawsuit over stolen intellectual property. Coors claims Apple stole the idea to have a cup that shows the temperature of the liquid inside.

“What do you think it means when the mountains turn blue on a Coors can?” Coors Spokesmen Carl Beamer asked. “It means that your beer is either cold or super cold. If that’s not telling the temperature then I don’t know what is.”

Apple retorted by saying “cold” and “super cold” aren’t actual temperatures, but refused to comment further.

While rumors fly back-and-forth after the release of the designs, it seems the only voice not heard recently is that of information leaker himself. Feltzbar has not been seen or heard from since releasing the information. Apple only had this to say:

“Apple employee John Feltzbar has been relocated to the Apple farm.”

Koi Ponds Provide Hungry Families With Unlimited Fish

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Don’t need to be koi Roy, just get yourself free.

Fishtrap, Kentucky – Vegetable gardens are a great way for budget-conscious families to reduce their food costs, which have been on the rise lately due to increasing governmental regulations.

Another great way to save money, and which is quickly gaining popularity around the country, is to build your own koi pond.

Koi are Japanese carp which are known for their beauty and taste.

“Having your very own koi pond in your backyard is a wonderful idea” says Ms. Sue Dohnim, president of the National Carp Foundation. “If you have a well-stocked koi pond, you are smart. If you don’t, you’re stupid.”

Just imagine being able to go out and fish for fish for dinner. And there are so many different ways to prepare the slimy suckers: carp cakes, carp salad, carp sandwich, carp in beer, deep fried carp chips, poached carp, pickled carp, carp gumbo, steamed carp, carp fries, grilled cheese carp, buttermilk carpjacks, carp chowder, carp burgers, sweet and sour carp, carpsicles, spicy cold carp soup, serbian carp, baked carp, carp sausage, carp milkshakes, river carp tacos, northern carp stew, southern carpuppies, eastern carp sushi rolls, and midwest carp casserole.

If that’s not enough to make you hungry, try fasting for three days and then walking by your neighbors backyard after they just finished stocking their brand new koi pond with twenty multi-colored koi fish.

For more information on building your own koi pond, call 1-800-KOI-POND, or simply click on healthcare.gov and ask to speak with a convicted navigator.