May 22nd, 2012 | by
Bill Burns AUSTIN, Minn – How do you gain the brides deceased parents respect in the non creepiest way possible? Get married by their graves in a cemetery of course! In an unconventional wedding ceremony, Diane Waller and Randy...
Washington, DC – Today at the White House, a government mandate was unanimously passed into marshall law requiring every American citizen to go see The Avengers because “It’s SO damn good.” It seems that...
May 17th, 2012 | by
Bill Burns West Fargo, ND – In a weird turn of events, locals have started praising the Red River and now consider it “Less Dickish.” Last month we reported people to be calling the Red River a dick head and even tried...
Fargo, ND – With its tiny but deadly hands held firmly at the throat of our quiet community, the Super AIDS virus continues its unrelenting reign of terror on the home front. Human bodies are still being violently...
North Dakota, USA – In what many in the geography community have called a desperate attempt at coolness, Canada, our gracious neighbors to the north, made a pitiful request to the USA to secede North Dakota & add it to...
Fargo, ND – The filthy remnants of a cleanup week trash pile containing an unknown quantity of Super AIDS is believed to be the cause of the rampant Super AIDS epidemic here in Fargo. Due to environmental concerns, a...
May 9th, 2012 | by
Bill Burns Fargo, ND – It is Clean Up week around the Fargo-Moorhead area or the Scavengers Super Bowl other people call it. This week, thousands of people will throw various filthy piles of shit they have been hording in their house...
May 8th, 2012 | by
Bill Burns Fargo, ND – At around 12 a.m. Saturday evening, police were called to a home on N Broadway Dr & 20th Ave N with reports of a hostage situation. Police arrived on scene to find a man holding his girlfriend hostage...
May 4th, 2012 | by
Bill Burns Fergus Falls, MN – Jesus who currently is parading around as a 43 year-old named Matthew Swanson, was arrested for disorderly conduct Wednesday afternoon while mowing the lawn in a loin cloth. It is believed that the...
Los Angeles, CA – During a routine check-up at the local OBGYN, excavators discovered a lifeless unborn fetus stuck inside famously inseminated degenerate Nadya Suleman, also known as Octomom. A visit to the gyno is no...
