September 4th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Dulutheran, MN – The Angelical Lutheran Church Of America (ALCOA) announced that it will become the denomination that opens its sanctuary doors up to any and all types of birds. Ms. Rose Grosbeak is the spokeswoman for...
March 31st, 2019 | by
Johnnny Rio Grande, TX – Border patrol enforcement officers will soon be using an effective new weapon in their fight against illegal immigration across the southern border of the United States. Very loud Michael Bolton songs have...
October 23rd, 2018 | by
Johnnny Mexico City – As part of Project Dissuasion, President Trump ordered up two hurricanes in an effort to prevent The Caravan from reaching the United States. Working in close conjunction with the National Hurricane Center,...
June 22nd, 2018 | by
Johnnny Brownsville, TX – The Fox Channel believes it has a new hit game show called “Find Your Parents”. Immigrant children who have recently been separated from their parent(s) while illegally crossing the southern...
June 15th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – What do you do when you’re really hungry? Well, during Moorhead’s recent Taco Eating Contest, a Moorhead man named Tomas Couch set a new record by consuming 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes. The...
August 1st, 2017 | by
Johnnny Box Elder, SD – Rather than pay exorbitant airfare prices for seats that are getting smaller by the day, one South Dakota man had a creative and relatively inexpensive way of getting himself to Puerto Vallarta. Declan...
November 9th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Wall, Texas – Wasting no time after his landslide victory, President Trump announced that he is putting Pink Floyd in charge of building The Wall. President Trump: “Pink Floyd is going to be in charge of The Wall...
September 6th, 2015 | by
Johnnny Ottawa, Ontario – While the United States continues its never-ending debate about building a wall on its southern border, Canada is actually beginning to build a wall on its southern border. Another northwestern wall is...