Tag Archives: new moon

Space Farce Soon Recruiting Members In Fargo

Welcome to Space Farce: The future beckons you to join up.

Force, Pennsylvania – What do you get if you combine the military with the future?¬†The answer is: President Trump’s new Space Farce!

Have you been wanting to get away from home and go see the universe? Then consider joining Space Farce!

Are you a nobody who wishes you could someday become a major somebody? Then ponder joining Space Farce!

When you look up at the stars, do you wish others would look up to you like you’re a star? Then join Space Farce!

Do you feel like you were perhaps born to shoot laser guns at others way out in space, while doing the space walk, all while wearing adult diapers? Join Space Farce!

Is 6 your favorite number? Then it is time you join the 6th branch of the military: Space Farce!

Solar Eclipse Cancelled As Some Find It To Be Offensive

Since it’s a religious experience to some, others find solar eclipse to be offensive to their beliefs.

Sunbeam, Idaho – So as to not be offensive to people of certain religious beliefs, the solar eclipse has been cancelled by federal and state authorities.

While statues of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are being pulled down because of their political incorrectness, the once-in-a-lifetime solar eclipse has now been cancelled after a number of religious leaders cried foul.

One politician wearing a Donald Trump mask in order to remain anonymous explained that by officially cancelling the solar eclipse, his chances of getting re-elected next year might improve with the voters in his district.

So, for all of you who purchased special glasses from Amazon for watching the solar eclipse, it’s not too late to return those via drone.

Now that the eclipse has officially been cancelled, this will give the country more time to tear down more monuments to our offensive past such as the Jefferson Memorial and the Washington Monument. Oh, and Mount Rushmore, you can run but you can’t hide, because they’re coming for you too.

Chinese New Year: Year Of The Sheep

Year of the Sheep

Year of the Sheep

Chinatown, USA – This February 19 begins the Chinese New Year which coincides with the New Moon (or as some call it: No Moon).

It will be the Year of the Sheep, Goat, or Ram and will go from Feb. 19, 2015 to Feb. 7, 2016.

The Sheep is known for being nurturing, loving, and accepting. The Year of the Sheep is a good time for expressing creativity and cultivating beauty.

For the new year, many take this opportunity to cleanse the house, symbolically sweep away all ill-fortune, and make room for good in-coming luck.

On this special occasion, common greetings include: “May your happiness be without limit” and “May you realize your ambitions”.

For this special occasion, the FM Observer has compiled a list of some of our favorite Chinese proverbs. Happy New Year!

Let the one who tied the bell on the tiger take it off.
Every advantage has its disadvantages.
A lifetime of cleverness can be ruined by a moment of stupidity.
A single slip may cause lasting sorrow.
One careless move and the whole game is lost.
You can reach the same destination by different roads.
Don’t fish in troubled waters.
Every single step leaves its print.
To say you don’t know is the beginning of knowing.
A small leak will sink a great ship.
Don’t drain the pond to get all the fish.
If you don’t want others to know about it, then don’t do it.
Control your emotion, or it will control you.
If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
You never know how hard a task is until you’ve done it yourself.
The highest tower begins from the ground.
Well begun is half done.
The greatest joy in life is the fruit of one’s own labor.
No one is wise at all times.
A wise person is always a good listener.
Rumors stop at the wise person.
Be mindful of possible danger in times of peace.
Out of debt, out of danger.
You are not beaten until you give up.
There are bad ones among good people and good ones among bad people.
Rather go without than have something of poor quality.
Sometimes the best gain is to lose.
Take the whole into consideration, but do the job bit by bit.
Correct the mistake if you have made any and guard against it if you have not.
What cannot be cured must be endured.
Learn from others’ strength to offset one’s weaknesses.
You cannot stand on two boats and sail.
Learning is like rowing upstream, not to advance is to drop back.
Here today, gone tomorrow.
A man who makes a promise easily is apt to forget it.
A good neighbor is better than a relative afar.
An eye for an eye, and we will all go blind.
A loss may turn out to be a gain.
Nothing comes of nothing.
One hour today is worth two hours tomorrow.
The water that bears the boat can also swallow it up.
A happy wife is the key to a happy family and home life.
At birth we bring nothing with us, at death we take nothing away.