National

Air Force Space Command Protesting Space Force

Not fast enough. Too small. Go back to watching your Star Wars movies, kid. You’ll never make it. That’s what they used to say to United States Air Force Space Command Lieutenant Gragg Bombgarden all those years...

Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico

San Juan, Puerto Rico – After playfully tossing paper towel rolls to locals seriously affected by hurricane Irma, Donald Trump has seemingly permitted a shipment of latex horse masks to Puerto Rico. To the aid of the...

Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly

Washington, DC – Breaking from long-standing tradition once again, instead of introducing a new First Dog to the country as most presidents have done in the past, President Donald Trump and his First Family will be...

Pinochle Players Spending Most Of The Time Arguing About Trump

Fair Play, TX – Ever since Donald Trump was elected president, what used to be friendly relaxing games of pinochle have become more heated political debate sessions. Pinochle players such as Arnie Macnaughton of Fair Play,...

Large School Bus Full Of Illegal Aliens To Pass Between Earth And Moon

Moonshine, Illinois – Top scientists from our top-notch science department are warning that a large school bus believed to be full of illegal aliens will be passing between the Earth and the Moon soon. It is not known who...

Republican National Committee Considering Cormorant Mayor As Presidential Nominee

Washington, DC – After a very tumultuous couple weeks, the Republican National Committee is flailing. The Donald has finally boasted himself out of public favor (for the most part–but some still want to Make America...

Skittles Founder Responds To Newest Trump Campaign Metaphor

Skittletopia, West Virginia – The founding father of one of America’s favorite candies has taken offense to this new Trump campaign musing: Shortly after Donald Trump, Jr tweeted that photo, Skittles pioneer Phictor...

Boy Drives Entire Family Nuts Practicing Trumpet

Trumbull, Nebraska – When Daniel Boddington first decided that he wanted to become a trumpet player in the school band, his family was so happy and excited. Daniel’s parents spared no expense and bought him a brand...

Donald Trump Building Skyscraper In Moorhead “Just For The Hell Of It”

Moorhead, Minisoda – Donald Trump announced tomorrow that he will soon begin construction of a 57-story skyscraper in downtown Moorhead. Why Moorhead? The Donald’s answer: “Moorhead is a really, really great...