Mister Wabbit, before you die, you can have one wast wish!” – Elmer Fudd

Here at FM Observer we like to take input from the “common folk” of the FM area. Their biggest complaint is that the rabbit population has been hare-balling out of control and let me tell you, people are furiously fed up. As a result, the city has hastily issued a new program that will: 1. take care of the excessive rabbit population and 2. Let disgruntled citizens blow off some steam. 

The City of Fargo announced today that a new rabbit bounty program will take effect this weekend appropriately on Friday the 13th.

The guidelines of the program include:

• Bounty will pay $5 per rabbit, $3 per bunny
• Rewards can be traded for a deduction against your yearly city taxes or free beer
• First 100 rabbits you are able to bag will get you a seat at the city’s Rabbit Stew Banquet Dinner including free beer
• Shoot to kill; there are no limits

One might ask what exactly is the city going to do with all these rabbits? Rumors are being spread that the city is starting a huge municipal fur company. Or, perhaps the meat will find its way to your local farmer’s market.

Germany imports $40 million worth of rabbits every year! This could put Fargo on the map as a renowned animal trader, so get out there and start shooting up.