March 12th, 2021 | by
Johnnny Vacuville, SD – A freaked out family of four has won its lawsuit against its very own robot vacuum cleaner. In this landmark case, Harold and Hannah Hoover filed criminal charges against their Mister Suction Robo-Vac vacuum...
November 30th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – While North Dakota is still dealing with the Covid crisis, it will soon also have to contend with a Bovid crisis. Thousands of musk ox from the Bovid family of large hoofed mammals will soon be doing their...
October 27th, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – Rather than imposing a mask mandate like neighboring Fargo finally did, West Fargo’s wizards of smart decided to implement a Mask Strategy. You may ask: What is West Fargo’s mask strategy?...
October 8th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Salt Lake City, Utah – Here are some important questions and answers regarding the October 7th Vice Presidential debate between Senator Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence. Q: Who do you think won this debate? A:...
October 2nd, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Mr. Cambi Gold of rural Fargo recently discovered something in the back of his refrigerator that had apparently been there for 30 years. To Mr. Gold’s amazement, his 30-year-old Big Mac sandwich looked...
August 26th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, North Dakota – Planning any outdoor activities? Better bring a baseball bat! Experts agree that this summer’s rainy pattern has been ideal for the formation of a bumper crop of unusually large mosquitoes. Our...
July 27th, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – A new festival coming to the Red River Valley should appeal to anyone who enjoys a more sedate lifestyle. Xanax Fest was the brain child of Nira Vam and her super laid-back boyfriend UpJohn. Mellow music...
July 14th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Spider Island, Wisconsin – Spiderman says one reason he wears a mask is to not catch the coronavirus from people who aren’t wearing a mask. Just like Spiderman’s mask, your mask should completely cover your...
June 23rd, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – Gone are the days when funerals were melancholy, mournful, and morose. Zeitgeist Funeral Home believes funerals should be a fun celebration. Dr. Agustine Elefritz created Zeitgeist Funeral Home to put some...
June 8th, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – On the advice of counsel (who part-times as a bouncer), the FM Observer has unanimously voted to begin tape recording all aspects of our entire corporate operation. We believe that this will help us: 1. be...