Recipes For Success

Xanax Fest Expected To Attract Tranquil Crowd
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Xanax Fest Expected To Attract Tranquil Crowd

July 27th, 2020 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – A new festival coming to the Red River Valley should appeal to anyone who enjoys a more sedate lifestyle. Xanax Fest was the brain child of Nira Vam and her super laid-back boyfriend UpJohn. Mellow music...
Moorhead Man Who Was Attacked By A Mourning Dove Is Expected To Survive
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Moorhead Man Who Was Attacked By A Mourning Dove Is Expected To Survive

July 10th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Mr. Nevin Goodrum, who was peacefully sitting in his backyard, decided to call to the mourning dove that was sitting up in his tree by blowing into his cupped hands. After a few near-perfect calls, Mr....
‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs
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‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs

February 22nd, 2019 | by Johnnny
​Death Valley, CA – Did you know that smiling is almost a sure sign of depression? “Smiling Depression” is something you’ll want to start watching for amongst your family, friends, and co-workers. People...
New Fargo Bar/Lounge Called ‘The Peachflame’ To Exclusively Cater To Weird People
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New Fargo Bar/Lounge Called ‘The Peachflame’ To Exclusively Cater To Weird People

January 26th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Downtown Fargo, ND – A 52nd liquor license has been granted for Downtown Fargo. Proprietor Elwood Wierschem is planning on opening The Peachflame which will specifically cater to bona fide weird-ohs. Mr. Wierschem in his...
‘The Fargo Syndrome’ Beginning To Affect Many Fargoans
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‘The Fargo Syndrome’ Beginning To Affect Many Fargoans

February 16th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Many clinics have begun reporting cases of people suffering from the effects of The Fargo Syndrome. Doctors say it is comes from a fermenting combination of: the long cold winter, a lack of sun and warm fresh...
Volunteers Needed To Test New Bullet-Proof Jackets
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Volunteers Needed To Test New Bullet-Proof Jackets

January 20th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Security Test Labs is seeking more volunteers to help test out some new bullet proof jackets poised to soon hit the market. Volunteers will be compensated for their time and trouble but must first sign a...
Local Large-Group Marriage Expected To Go To The Supreme Court
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Local Large-Group Marriage Expected To Go To The Supreme Court

June 5th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Downer, MN – In the quaint Minnesota village of Downer (formerly known as Xanax), a large-group wedding of nine women and five men is expected to challenge the definition of marriage. The recent marriage of fourteen (14)...
Downer Changing Its Name To Xanax
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Downer Changing Its Name To Xanax

November 17th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Downer, MN – The sleepy town of Downer, Minnesota says it is time for a name change. All seven residents voted unanimously to change the name from Downer to Xanax. The mayor of Downer, speaking from his basement couch,...