March 2nd, 2017 | by
Nick Palo Alto, CA – The Observer has learned, via a tweet posted on Facebook via a StumbleUpon to Reddit cross-post, that famous party animal Andrew WK has formally given up partying for lent. During the next 39 or so days, WK...
September 25th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram It will be difficult to verbalize what you’re feeling later this week, especially tied to that chair with duct tape over your mouth. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) The Bull...
May 7th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram Careful planning and attention to detail will be important as you undertake a new challenge, because mastering that “Crushed Glass and Arsenic Brownies” recipe is going to be...
April 8th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram An incriminating secret from your past will bubble to the surface, forcing you to admit that using Alka Seltzer tablets to weigh down that body in the river was definitely your second...
March 26th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram An exciting new relationship begins to take shape this week, and even with your diminished lung capacity you should have that doll fully blown up by Thursday at the latest. Taurus (April...
March 12th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram An interesting series of events will take your personal life to a new level this week. Unfortunately, you will learn that counselors refer to it as “rock bottom”. Taurus...
March 4th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Manhattan, NY – Here is a portion of the FM Observer’s final interview with David Bowie: FMO: Would you describe yourself as a serious kind of guy? David Bowie: I’m always amazed that people take what I say...
February 25th, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram The stars acknowledge that you’re seeing some real benefits from taking Yoga classes, though the truth is, it’s actually your moral flexibility that concerns them the most....
February 3rd, 2016 | by
Nina Verbena Aries (March 21 – April 19) The Ram Take time to really enjoy the first half of your Superbowl party this weekend. It will become a cherished memory of how good your life was before “The Buffalo Wing...
January 25th, 2016 | by
Nick Hollywood, CA – Contrary to what we all had thought, acclaimed movie badass and feared megaman Vin Diesel isn’t 100% ferocious. No! Upon hearing of the Flint water crisis, he’s taken the call to donate to...