Tag Archives: depression

The Forty Mental Stages Experienced During Pandemic Isolation

Everyone goes through the same 40 psychological stages during extreme isolation.

Psychiko, Greece – As many of us are living through our first global pandemic, it might be helpful to be aware of the stages we’re likely to be going through during a long period of isolation.

Dr. Reta Naquin has listed in order the 40 mental stages that you are likely experiencing while self-quarantining in order to avoid getting and spreading the Corona Virus.

Dr. Naquin in her own words: “The 40 Stages Of Prolonged Extreme Isolation are listed here in the order they usually occur.”

“They are grouped into four phases. Try to find where you are in this progression to help see what lies ahead for you.”

PHASE ONE
1. anxiety 2. controlled laughter 3. fear of the unknown 4. on cloud nine 5. feeling invincible 6. depression 7. euphoria 8. feeling excited 9. germaphobia 10. grumpy attitude

PHASE TWO
11. talking to yourself 12. crying 13. diminished impulse control 14. general gloominess 15. wanting to exercise 16. loneliness 17. hoarding 18. loss of memory 19. trying to set goals 20. sullen

PHASE THREE
21. weight loss 22. irritability 23. wanting to unclutter 24. feeling stuck in purgatory 25. lack of focus 26. on top of the world 27. deep misery 28. near insanity 29. extreme confusion 30. major elation

PHASE FOUR
31. hallucinations 32. nightmares 33. overly long meditations 34. panic 35. unusual weight gain 36. violent shaking 37. uncontrolled laughter 38. wanting to exorcise 39. severe hoarding 40. total madness!

Interestingly, all the letters in Reta Naquin can be re-ordered to spell: Quarantine!

‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs

People that smile a lot need help.

‚ÄčDeath Valley, CA – Did you know that smiling is almost a sure sign of depression?

“Smiling Depression” is something you’ll want to start watching for amongst your family, friends, and co-workers.

People who chronically smile are most likely masking deep and severe depression.

Depressionologists are advising that if you suspect someone of having Smiling Depression, get them to a Certifiable Counselor as quickly as possible.

If you are not depressed and don’t want outside observers to think you are, don’t be doing a lot of smiling.

Conversely, if you are experiencing some major depression and want to hide it, resist the temptation to smile a lot in order to mask it.

Long Cold Winter Starting To Take Its Effect On Normal People

At the beginning of winter, this person was just a normal looking guy.

Fargo, ND Are you starting to feel the negative effects of winter? Do normally easy small tasks seem bigly challenging?

Maybe you’re suffering from WHAKOH like most other people living in Fargo. WHAKOH stands for: Winter Hits All Kind Of Hard.

If the idea of going to the grocery store to get a few basic items feels like you’re preparing to cross Antarctica by sled, you have a case of WHAKOH.

If having to do any snow blowing or shoveling feels tantamount to getting a root canal, you are going WHAKOH.

Our very own Dr. Willy Nilly suggests joining a square dancing group or take regular trips to any of the local liquor stores.

Also, marking the days (or even the hours) off on a large calendar sometimes helps to visually remind you that winter will some day be over.

‘The Fargo Syndrome’ Beginning To Affect Many Fargoans

Suffering from the Fargo Syndrome can cause suffering from the Fargo Syndrome.

Fargo, ND – Many clinics have begun reporting cases of people suffering from the effects of The Fargo Syndrome.

Doctors say it is comes from a fermenting combination of: the long cold winter, a lack of sun and warm fresh air, a depressing sense that you’re living out in the middle of nowhere, and how terribly the Minnesota Vikings season ended.

If you think you might be starting to feel the toxic effects of The Fargo Syndrome, either turn on all your lights, call a friend, go shopping, book a flight to Cancun, or try taking another Xanax.

Experts do point out that one very positive note is that it could be much worse. You could be living up in Grand Forks!