Recipes For Success

The Forty Mental Stages Experienced During Pandemic Isolation

Psychiko, Greece – As many of us are living through our first global pandemic, it might be helpful to be aware of the stages we’re likely to be going through during a long period of isolation. Dr. Reta Naquin has...

Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style

Medora, ND – Serious times require serious measures, which is why North Dakotans are being asked to stay as far away from each other as possible. How far is considered safe? Well, the definition of a plain is one tree per...

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus

Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War. President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to...

Corona Virus Now Treatable With Extra Lime

Corona, SD – With another disease heading our way from China, our very own Dr. Orvin Caruso who lives and works in Corona, South Dakota is already well ahead of this new and potentially deadly virus. Dr. Caruso first points...

Local Hospitals Reporting Increasing Numbers Of Gogopox Cases

Moorhead, MN – The first of many new 21st century diseases is making its presence known in the Midwest. Many over-crowded area hospitals are now reporting a sudden spike in the number of serious cases of Gogopox. This rare...

Lime Disease Traced Back To Margarita Happy Hours

Rochester, MN – At the Hellmann’s Mayo Clinic, researchers have positively linked Lime Disease to the excessive drinkage of lime-flavored margaritas. Scientific data shows that people who consume multiple jumbo lime...

Zika Test Now Available

Bismarck, ND – A new Zika Test is now available. Most of the test results so far have been quite negative. State epidemiologists are hoping for more positive results in the future. In cooperation with the FM Observer,...

MN Pond Scum Being Sold As Organic Herbal Muck

Somewhere, Minnesota – A group of resourceful environmental herbologists with a special knack for marketing organic health products will soon be selling pond scum (Pondis Scumius Major) carefully gathered from certain...

Miraculous ElderHaus Magically Cures Whatever Ails You

Moorhead, MN – It’s the oldest building in the motley city of Moorhead. Known as just ElderHaus, everyone who’s ever stayed there claims it has magical powers to rid one’s body and mind of all sorts of...

Government To Begin Grouping People Into “Sick Camps” By What Diseases We Have

Washington, DC – With the help of the CDC (Centre for Disease Control), Big Government will soon be organizing communities into groups of people based on what diseases we have. Since Big Government already has access to all...