March 16th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Medora, ND – Serious times require serious measures, which is why North Dakotans are being asked to stay as far away from each other as possible. How far is considered safe? Well, the definition of a plain is one tree per...
October 17th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Mars, Milky Way – Even though scientists have now officially discovered life on Mars, they are admittedly a bit underwhelmed by the fact that it’s just some lichens. However, top Mars lichenologist Dr. Charles Nim...
August 31st, 2019 | by
Johnnny Stephen, MN – The mysterious UFO encounter which happened in Minnesota’s Marshall county forty years ago has finally been solved. Three space aliens who had recently been detained on unrelated drug charges confessed...
August 11th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Force, Pennsylvania – What do you get if you combine the military with the future? The answer is: President Trump’s new Space Farce! Have you been wanting to get away from home and go see the universe? Then consider...
February 8th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – A young Fargo man who shall remain unnamed since he is only age 15, has not only started his own company called Space Exit, but has also designed, built, and successfully flown his own Rocket Bike into space....
February 2nd, 2017 | by
Johnnny Moonshine, Illinois – Top scientists from our top-notch science department are warning that a large school bus believed to be full of illegal aliens will be passing between the Earth and the Moon soon. It is not known who...
January 16th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – While working on his school project for the upcoming Science Fair, a Fargo teenager somehow created an actual wormhole in his bedroom. As we all know, a wormhole is a shortcut to another point in the space-time...
February 20th, 2016 | by
Nick Washington, DC – President Obama has vowed to find a qualified candidate to nominate for Supreme Court Justice. The speculation is that that candidate will be anti-anti-liberal. This does not sit well with the...